"I think I'm completely over your brother."
Kandi reminds me of a gopher when she pops her head in between dresses hanging on a rack. "That's great. Homecoming is right around the corner, and you can find a last minute date."
I step around the pile of glitter that has fallen off of dresses onto the ground. I make a mental note to avoid a dress like that because I don't know how to prevent myself from shedding sparkles.
"I don't see why I need a date. I've gone to every dance with a date already," I say, reaching for a dress only to recoil from the texture.
"It's a dance, Lexi," Kandi says, walking towards me with hangers resting on her fingers. The skin underneath suffers as a result. "It's not like I'm trying to get you into somebody's pants."
"Eh."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Tailored trousers, light olive sweater, and a white long sleeved undershirt. How long has this been going on for? All I've been doing is stare at him for far too long. It's the last Friday of the month, so we are allowed to wear our typical street clothes to class as long as they are deemed appropriate. I could've sworn he has always worn a sweatshirt and jeans. Is this new?
"Has he always dressed like that?"
I've watched him weave in and out of different sections. Fiction. Nonfiction. Paperback. Just about every section this library has to offer. He has the system memorized. He knows his way around. It's as though he's lost.
Kandi looks up at me from her phone. My question seems to confuse her until she looks up to see I've practically been stalking her brother for the past ten minutes. "Huh? Yeah, he's dressed like that for a little while now."
Since when did he switch to this? It's like a light academia aesthetic. Why haven't I noticed this? I noticed when Laurance switched his hair parting for a day, but I'm oblivious to an entire style shift.
My fingers move up to my necklace, gripping onto it and fidgeting the "A" charm between my fingertips. It's the same charm I replaced the "G" that once sat there with.
"For how long?" My voice sounds lost. Hushed. Confused. My mind tosses the idea that this has been going on for quite a while around.
"A little over a year now. Maybe you were too blinded by Garroth to notice." You'd think that would hurt me, but it doesn't. I feel foolish for missing out on something like this, but it doesn't hurt me. I don't become defensive. I would've before, but not now. "Have you always dressed like that?"
I don't know if she's been genuine or sarcastic.
I look down at my outfit. The cropped white cardigan with two out of three buttons buttoned. My black jeans. Black tank top with a bit of lace on the top. Black Vans. My feet hide further under my chair, ankles touching the chair's leg. I'm suddenly self-conscious.
"Yes." Why can't I sound confident? There's a slight uncertainty, a stutter, in my voice. I bought this cardigan last year, and the jeans two years ago. I bought these shoes a while ago, and my feet haven't grown since.
My eyes slowly divert back down to the book my hands have pinned against the table. Kandi looks back at her phone, ending the conversation in silence. My eyes skim over the same words repeatedly, but my mind cannot understand what they are saying. They appear like scribbles on paper.
I take my glasses off my face and hold them up to the light, convinced they must be dirty. When I realize they are clean, I shake my head and place them back into their case. I can't seem to get past page ten anyway.
At some point, Vylad sits down at the table. He and Kandi have already started a conversation before I recognize the sound of voices. I look up, slipping my hand out from the book's pages. It shuts as a result.
"Are you alright?" Vylad's face scrunches up in concern. It's concern for me. Whatever their conversation was is lost in the wind.
"Yeah," I say, forcing a smile. I feel so stupid. "I just can't seem to focus on this book, is all. A lot on my mind, I guess." I nod at the end of my words. Am I trying to convince him or me?
Vylad places his hand on top of mine and nods his head. His smile is gentle, eyes soft. "I was telling Kandi about the email they sent out earlier. They plan on announcing homecoming court after class. They'll take pictures after that."
"I forgot homecoming was next week," I say, a single chuckle following. "They'll just end up announcing it again at the pep rally. Parading people off. . ."
He gives me a skeptical look. "You're acting strange."
I shake my head to knock myself back into sense. I feel like I'm worlds away from this moment. "Sorry."
"Don't be? Just. . . take a breath?"
I look over to Kandi, but she sits there staring at the two of us. Her eyes are knowing.
I don't think I've ever related to a Taylor Swift song more than I do at this very moment. Or, at least, a line.
