Sarah Paulson one shots and fanfics

It was all a lie (Xandra x Reader)

A/n: trying to write more, this story is quite different from my others but I hope you guys like it, and yes I'll be writing smut soon you cheeky gal.
TW: mourning
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Y/n's Pov:
I moved to Las Vegas after I graduated, my life just fucking sucked in Oregon so I needed a fresh start. My mom was always a bitch and the only support I had in my life fucking died. She was so hot I wish I could have helped her, she got into a car accident but I haven't been able to see any evidence or anything and they didn't have a funeral for her so I decided to get away from that place. the fucking love of my life deserved a burial but I mean at least I'm away from the toxic family. I decided to move here cause I wanted to get far enough away and I love heat and of course I'm a beach person so why not lovely Nevada.

I just got to the place and I decided to start unpacking my stuff but at least I didn't have to move furniture in because I got it furnished from the old owners, I mean they had good taste at least just time to put up some Lana posters and probably American horror story.

Damn no one asked me if I needed help unpacking...dickheads.

I start thinking to myself about the only woman I'll ever love...she would have loved this place she would have loved swimming and the heat, Oregon didn't offer this type of weather that often. I decided to settle and just listen to music while sitting on the couch and just letting thoughts come through so I can finally realize that I'm actually here. I'm not at my home anymore I'm in what can become my sanctuary.

Xandra would have loved it here...I miss her so much I could have done something to save her, could I? I just sob at the thought of her. Why did the only person that helped me get taken away. She was so lovely even though some say she was a bitch. She wasn't to me and that's all that matters.

After thinking about her I decided to go take a walk around the town cause I mean I have to know the place at least maybe even meet some people around. I stepped out with a pair of shorts, a cropped tank top, and a thin jacket over it with hella jewelry. Gotta look gay. And feel gay. I also had a pair of black converse on while listening to some music in one of my headphones. I don't care that I'm in my 20's music will always be an escape especially the playlist I made about the beautiful women Xandra. Fuck. She was so beautiful and perfect. I would do anything to see her and save her. I wish I could admit how much she's saved me and how much she means to me. Xandra meant the word to me I'd give the whole universe to her, I want to hold her...but I can't fucking do that cause SHES. FUCKING. DEAD. and with that i was crying again but I have to go look around instead of being a lazy bum.

As I got outside the sun was blasting me and I decided I should probably take my jacket off before i overheat. Xandra would do anything to make sure u wasn't to hot right now she always looked out for me...I couldn't look out for her. There I go for like the 10000000 time crying about her. I swear she meant more then ever to me. shit I can't be crying in public so I wipe that shit away and keep walking around.

After about 30 minutes I take a little break under a tree and I haven't found anyone or anything that's fun out here. Damn. I mean there was this dude named like Boris but he didn't really seem interesting so you know I gotta look harder I guess. But damn I would love Xandra to be here under this tree with me just talking about the small joys in life and just everything and more. She always knew what to say and sometimes she'd slip me a cigarette and or a glass of wine as long as I was with her. I remember all the time of us together, she even hugged me every time she saw me, sometimes it would lead to cuddling but I don't think it was in that way she seemed straight, and I remember the one time we kissed...maybe she did like me. I mean she was soft around me.

*flashback*
"Y/n dear your so amazing and I'm sorry people can't see that, I'll be here whenever..." Xandra said as she was cuddling me I mean she was drunk I think... "Xandra thank you for being there for me, I love the little jokes we have and your teasing, (BITCH NOT IN THAT WAY. LIKE A JOKING WAY) thank you for always brightening up my gloomy days." I say with a smile, our faces got closer and then with that our lips connected. Oh her lips are so sweet and gentle, I can taste the cigarettes in her breath but it's hot. After the kiss she backed away and fell asleep. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her in front of me though, I have to get a photo. She's just so perfect.

*end of flashback*
I still have that photo and it's my Home Screen, probably doesn't help me get over her but I mean it was just a perfect photo and forever something I don't want to forget. But Her lips were so soft but then a week after that she was just gone... was she struggling and needed help...my mom never told me if the car crash was an accident or set up. It kinda sounds stupid but who knows. Also Xandra told me she loved me on multiple occasions but maybe it was all a lie, or a motherly instinct. The kiss could have been nothing who knows, I know I'll never know, I wish I knew the intentions behind it.

I decided to finally get up from under the tree after crying again and to go back home before the sunset i dont know how weird these people get at night here. It could be a total freak show or something. Maybe who knows. I don't know.

As I was walking back I saw people's lights go on in their houses cause I was already to late it was already fucking dark even though I was scared of what would happen in the dark I guess it's to late.   The people here seem kinda rude but I mean it's not like they search for when someone new comes but like there was a 'for sale' sign...it's whatever I don't need them to welcome me they can't be as rude as my mom. Fuck her.

When I got close to my house I saw a red camero pull into the house next to mine, hmm nice car, are the neighbors spoiled rich idiots. I'll get used to it. I then walk to the house to greet my neighbors cause I mean better to let them know I'm not some psychopath, I walk up to their driveway and I see a women get out of the car, the women had long blonde hair almost like Xandra's I need to stop making everything into her I need to get over her. I say "hey umm ma'am I just wanted to introduce myself, im your neighbor, " I say and the women turns around, "Hey im Xan-, WAIT Y/N IS THAT YOU?" says the women in front of me. I looked up and it's her. this can't be real she's dead...right? It's not like my mom would lie, but would she no this can't be, I hit myself to see if this is some fever dream...I'm not dreaming. Everything comes to life and I start sobbing, "XANDRA MY MOM TOLD ME YOU WERE DEAD NO NO THIS CANT BE REAL IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU, " I say while choking over tears, she runs up to me while dropping what I think is groceries and hugs me as tight as a person can hug, this is real, the smell of her perfume the cigarette smell and just the smell of her hair and body wash, it hasn't changed. "Honey I'm not dead ur mom most have lied, it's all a lie, I never liked her." Xandra said while also crying, the pet names she calls me still killing me, the love I have towards you never disappeared. "Xan I've been crying over you every night, all day, and all time, I finally realize why i was brought here." I say, she rubs my head and we don't let go... "My love, don't cry I'm here now I missed you, want to come in and catch up, just like like old times." She says with the wide, beautiful grin I remember, this is why I fell for her, she treats me...different in a good way, like i mean something to her.

A/n: here y'all go, I definitely did not cry making this but tell me if you guys want a part two? I would love to only if you guys want though. Tell me what y'all think. Also sorry if all these words are a jumbled mess, I'm tired.

Word count: 1598