Candy Book Review 2022[CLOSED]

June#3 Blood Secret

Hey candies,
I honestly owe you guys a huge apology. I apologize for not being active, I apologize for taking such long unexpected hiatus, I apologize for not replying your messages early enough. I sincerely apologize, and I ask that you please find a place in your sweet candy heart to pardon me.
A lot happened during my time of inactivity. My PC got bad so I had to use my phone to type...this particular draft for "Blood secret" was already done, but I changed phones and sadly, wattpad didn't include the draft. So I had to start all over again.
I sincerely apologize to all those that have pending reviews. I noticed I lost followers too, but I apologize and there's no problem.
I apologize to Historyfan2003 for the delayed review.
I give a special shout-out to IsowaOConnell for helping with this review. He did most of the work for this particular review because at that point of my life when I thought I wasn't coming back to wattpad, he offered to help and I'm extremely grateful. I just went through it. So please, you can also check out his works, they're also really good. He's an amazing writer.
So the various headings are in his words, while I just ran through the book and gave ratings based on his words.

Now let's get down to business.
This book is going to be reviewed under the following headings;

Character development:
I believe you truly captured the characters in this story, and I love how you gave insights on their past and present through flashbacks and dreams. Though Lawrence is my favorite character, if there's  any other person in the story that intrigues me, it's Fredrick. He seems to be misunderstood and carries a lot of trauma regarding his sexuality and his father. He still tackles the task of being the king of a country on the verge of a deadly war. The characters are well developed and the writing devices you used just added a flare to everything. 7/10.

Plot development:
I really love the plot, especially since I'm a history geek myself. I can say that though as you explained, the story is not historically accurate, you did a good job of showing how life was during the war times in Europe.

I also really love how well you paced the story. It's not too fast or too slow, which makes it easier for the readers to understand and follow. The way you named your chapters was another thing I loved. Each chapter is meant to be an embodiment of the chapter title, which some writers actually can't pull off. But yours, was just absolutely amazing and accurate.

Lastly, the addition of gay characters was capturing. I believe we can all agree that the LGBT community needs more representatives. It's a 8/10

Book cover:
I really like the book cover. I think it's Lawrence standing in the book cover, but I'm not completely sure. The cover really depicts the life of a soldier during those times. The uniform, rifle and a head bowed in deadly seriousness. It's a 8/10.

Grammatical errors:
Though I really liked your use of words, you made a lot of errors especially the first few chapters. Also, I feel there was this habit of repeating some certain words in your sentences. Words like; “carefully, gently, quickly, therefore and others”. I know how tempting it is to want to use these words over and over again, but it easily bores the readers and dulls the story.

So corrections are in bold and additional explanation given in brackets. Please point out areas you're not clear, and I'll be more than happy to help out.

War news:

Underneath his bed. He opens it and notices that it's empty. [Adding "from" to underneath is tautology. So I think removing "from" reduces repetition in that statement. Also, a punctuation mark (full stop) should be after "bed" to start the new sentence]

Peter: "You're planning to travel with the Prussian army, Yes?" ("You're" instead of "your" and there should be a "question mark" after "yes", and not a full stop because "yes" in this context infers a question)

Family visit:

Frederick: "Look, I know this is a shock to you and most people see this as wrong. That a man should only be in love with a woman." (I feel this fits better than..."as wrong that men should only be in love with a woman")

Sleepless nights:

Voltaire: "No, I can't. I'm too frightened..."
(There should be a comma after "No" and a full stop after "can't")

Meeting the general:

" ...blue eyes and a beard who is wearing a Prussian..."
(There should not be a full stop after beard since "who" is part of the sentence)

Frederick: "Are you sure about coming to this war with me?"
(Question mark at the end. Not a full stop)

Frederick williams: "Don't work too hard Voltaire..." (Instead of "dont")

A poet's love for his king:

Frederick williams: "...with his cane. He didn't care who it was." (There should be a full stop after "cane")

Haunted by past memories:

Lord Uxbridge: "... I'm  also his bodyguard I guess..."
(Instead of "Im")

Wellington and the king:

Frederick: "I can't believe that Fred broke his promise..."
("His" not "my" would be correct in that sentence)

Frederick: "...He hates me, doesn't he?"
(Question mark at the end and not a full stop)

Frederick: "...even though I'm not his father..."
(Instead of "im not")

"He suddenly stops and notices that the door to his room". (The sentence should end there, it's unnecessary to tell us what happened to the door)

Dreams and letters:

Prince frederick: "Look I'm truly sorry" (instead of "im")

Frederick: "...and you also broke your promise"
(It should be "your" and not "my").

General review:
I love this book and definitely recommend it to history lovers like myself. Overall rating 8/10

Next up: "The girl who was afraid" by LucyAnnWrites.

Have a lovely day!

XOXO,
Candy lover.
🍧🖤❗.