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vii. an indentation in the shape of you
When she left him, she felt her life irreversibly shift. Nothing was the same. Nothing would ever be the same.
She was left ─ left to find herself in a world that he had defined.
Her chest ached. Finally noticing the missing pieces. All the pieces she had given to him. All starting that day at the beach. The party at Boneyard. That's when Nova had given John B. the very first piece of herself. Unknowingly, of course, but from then on, he'd had a piece of her, and was probably none the wiser about it.
Those parts of her that had been chipped away would never mend. Not completely. They didn't belong to her anymore. They were his to keep. John B. Routledge would forever hold pieces of her heart in his calloused hands.
They were supposed to make it. John B. and her. Meant to be, she'd told herself foolishly.
Strained words that had broken through her rough sobs, over and over again, as she cried on the lap of her Lovey. Her Lovey, who had sat there, letting the girl cry, whispering promises that meant nothing in the midst of Nova's heartbreak. She sat there in the place of her daughter. In the place of Nova's mom.
And she whispered, "You were meant to be. There is no doubt about that..." Her tone was soft and soothing. She understood Nova as if she had lived through the very same. "You were meant to be. But maybe... not meant to last."
Her Lovey's words still sat upon the bruised part of her heart. Aching.
Selfishly, the sun still rose the very next morning. No matter how unfair it seemed that the bright, burning ball of fire lit the blue sky brilliantly. Birds sang outside her window. Ocean waves crashed and salt air wafted through the open balcony doors. The world was alive, living. And yet, she'd been destroyed.
This time, she had no one else to blame but herself.
She cried as she dressed. Quietly. Not like last night. When her tears stained the satin-cased pillow that muffled her loud, earth-shattering sobs.
Three layers of concealer are what it took to hide the red splotches from the tears shed the night before. To hide the still lingering bruises on her face. Her eyes were still glossy. Tears still there, ready to fall.
Nova began chewing the inside of her bottom lip and winced. The cuts inside were still fresh from last night. Scattered all along the inside of her bottom lip. Not even gotten the chance to scab over yet. She didn't care, she chewed anyway until the taste of iron filled her mouth. And she went to brush her teeth.
