Beneath The Flies • 《 Levi × Reader 》

《 Chapter 8 》• Paint It Grey

I tugged the dirtied shirt over my shoulders, tossing it onto the stoned floor of the shared community shower room stationed in the Southern Halls of the HeadQuarters.

I stepped into one of the showers, twisting the handle with my soiled palms, hearing the squeak of the knob echo throughout the empty enclosure. I heard the current of water travel up the silver tubes, and then slightly jolted when I felt the cold splash of it spirt out of the shower head and spill over my blemished skin. Gradually, the water warmed, washing a days worth of experience off my skin and allowing me to start anew.

My hands slid up my shoulders, bathing in the steaming water, dipping my head back, eyes up toward the faucet as I let the hot water soak and comb through the strands of my knotted hair.

My fingers blindly searched for a bar of soap, my eyes tightly shut as beads of water pelted down onto the surface of my face. I felt the slippery body of the unscented soap press against my fingertips, picking it up carefully and placing it against the skin of my chest, scrubbing away the dirt imbedded in my pores.

I leaned forward, taking my head away from the flowing water, taking a deep breath and swallowing the steaming fog that was forming in the room. Bubbles formed on my body as I rubbed away the dirt and grime that accumulated over the hours since the last shower I had.

I let the water act as a warmth that my mind recognized as a perfect impression of a motherly hug, eyes closed as I stood in ululating silence, only the sound of the water sweeping down the drain filling my ears as I let the water drench every inch of my sore body. I kept my sights away from the scars that freckled my skin from many moons of battle, my eyes glued to the clouded mirrors that were stationed on the far end of the room, attached to a simple sink.

I could make out the hazy image of my figure in the shower reflecting off the steamed glass as I lathered my hair in soap.

I watched myself rinse the soap out, turn the shower off, and wrap myself in a white towel perched on a rack just outside the walls that separated each shower. I watched myself step up to the mirror, wipe away the condensation, and gaze upon myself intently.

I looked at myself for what seemed like an eternity.
My mind wandered.

I had just bathed, and yet I did not feel clean.

My feet grazed the rough surface of the floors as I stood stagnant, watching the water part from my hair and glide down my cheek, dripping off my chin and onto the ground like a senseless tear. I was not necessarily sad at the moment, and yet I felt the need to stare at myself in inhospitable resentment.

It was hard to look at myself.

I turned my gaze down, trying to avoid staring at myself any longer, my eyes catching glimpse of the healing gash in my finger.
I had taken the bandage off a few days prior to now, and the injury was healing smoothly. I was thankful for that much...

But it reminded me all too much of Levi, and Levi reminded me of many bad memories I tried so hard to bury.
And as time went on, I was discovering that these memories were just seeds, and every time I attempted to bury them, they would just grow into an even bigger mass that sprouted deep within me, the vines strangling both my mind and soul.

I shook my head, walking for the counter that held my fresh pair of clothes.

Another thought crossed my mind as I did so.

I remembered that night he had tended to my wound.

I pondered...

"Levi..." I hadn't even realized I was speaking to myself now, my thoughts overflowing out of my mouth involuntarily.