Sometimes I find myself wondering if I've thrown myself into a cage and locked it from the inside. I wonder if maybe, just maybe... I wasn't to blame for Erwin's death, and that neither me, nor Levi, was the cause of it.
This world works in strange ways. We have no effect on the inevitable. We cannot hinder the progression of death, nor speed it up. It simply comes and goes, a silent visitor that steals your soul the moment you shake hands to greet it.
But I also know I can't shift the blame completely to nothingness.
I didn't try hard enough... I didn't do enough.
And he died.
All because I failed to uphold my reputation as a soldier- a person whos saves; a person who protects.
I couldn't save him.
And now I sit here, rotting away in a cage of nothing but disarray and pain as I marvel over my infectious failure that takes over my body and forces me to surrender to the floor. Locked in a cage that robs me of my humanity...
And it seems I've lost the key to get out.
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《 Chapter 14 》• Oakwood
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Armin rested the basin of fresh water on the kitchen counter, dipping a white clothed rag into it and then wrung out the excess before he brought it gently over to my arm as he dabbed up the flowing line of blood that slipped down my bare arm. It was attached to a deep wound, a gash in the surface of my shoulder that revealed the fleshy insides of my arm. I winced as he soaked up the blood, the red soaking through the white rag and staining it a watered-down pink.
"Sorry," Armin apologized, his voice monotone as he focused on cleaning out the wound. "It's going to sting a little. Let me know if it hurts too much and we can take a break."
Despite the shocks of pain that shot down my arm and up my neck, I let out a laugh at his words. "I've dealt with worse than this, kid. Don't worry about me."
Armin kept his eyes on my injury, irises flashing around my arm as he worked, cleaning the wound completely before reaching for a wad of bandages. "Lift your arm, please," His voice was low, yet thoughtful. He had grown much less skittish over the years, loosing the childish squeak that used to thrive in his voice.
This was a sad realization.The kids were all growing up...
They were all maturing, fighting tooth and nail to sprout in the soil of this God forsaken world that refused to nourish them.
"... Miss [Y/n]...?" Armin spoke again, his eyes flashing with confusion.
I realized I had spaced out. I needed to stop doing that.
"Sorry," I lifted my arm, allowing him to wrap the bandages around it, preventing anymore blood to spill from the gash beneath. Armin tied the bandages, then pulled away, a light smile traveling up his face.
"All done."
I returned the smile, ruffling his thick blonde hair with my hand. "What would I do without you?" I smirked, showing my appreciation through the teasing act.
Armin shyed away.
I put my hand back by my side.
"Man, I know I said I've dealt with worse, but that's usually when my adrenaline is all over the place," I grit my teeth, placing a hand overtop the gauze bandages. "This hurts like hell."

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Beneath The Flies • 《 Levi × Reader 》
Fanfiction"A romance born from the womb of the battlefield; Fertilized and watered from the bones and tears of the forsaken." After the death of Commander Erwin, trouble stirs between the hearts of Captain Levi and Section Commander [Y/n]. A secret lingers in...