Beneath The Flies • 《 Levi × Reader 》

《 Chapter 21 》• The Time I Took To See Your Heart

The story I'd just told took a major tole on my ability to stand up straight, slumping back against the counter, my palms sweating profusely.

I was choking on my heartbeat, averting Levi's eyes in an attempt to not see whatever emotion may be prominent inside.

And then I remembered the apology.

Now is the time to apologize...

My nails dug into the counter.

Apologize to him, damn you!

...

"I'm sorry."

That voice wasn't mine.

I craned my head upward, eyes round as I met his forlorn gaze for the first time since I began the story.

Levi was looking at me with the most sensitive face I'd ever seen. He had pronounced those word so softly I had to stop and ask myself if this was really the headstrong Captain I was so accustomed to.

Levi was not the evil man many made him out to be. I had not expected him to hate me so much more than I assumed he already did, but this hardly met the poor fantasy in my head I had of his potential reaction.

I thought he'd shut me out completely, leaving me nothing more than a fragment of the diseased past.

Yet here I was, proven wrong once again.

"... Why are you apologizing?" I asked, an involuntary shiver running down my spine as his eyes were fixed on mine.

"I've been..."

He paused, then let out a feeble sigh.

"A dick to you." Levi responded somewhat breathlessly, shaking his head. "I didn't know... It was hurting you this badly."

I hid my face in the shadow he cast. "It's not your fault."

Yes. It wasn't his fault.

"None of it was."

Levi shook his head. "No, maybe not..." He intoned earnestly. "But that doesn't change anything. I've hurt you, and honestly it's... Not a nice feeling knowing how long I've sat on my ass and done nothing about it."

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me," I could not believe my ears. "Not after what I said to you. I should be the one apologizing to you."

Levi glared. "I understand why you said what you did. If you won't let me apologize to you, then don't apologize to me, either, [Y/n]. There's nothing I hold against you."

"How?!" I cried out, brows knitting  together. The kitchen was drafty and cold, not allowing my faint shaking to die down. "How could you not hold anything against me... After everything I've done?"

Levi stared right through me.

"Because it didn't ruin my image of you. You'll always be that whiny, hot-headed woman I've known for so many years, the woman I've grown to adore after being forced to put up with her for this long," Levi watched my eyes map out all of his features as he delivered the small joke. "And I'm not some bratty kid who's going to hate you all because of something you said when you weren't in your right mind."

"But I know my words hurt you. Why are you so quick to forgive me?"

"I won't lie," He admit. "They did hurt. They hurt so damn bad I didn't know what to do with myself for the longest time- But I didn't want to dwell on it, because I knew there was still a chance out there that we could..." He trailed off for a moment, then picked his voice up once he drew in an icy breath.