❝𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆 𝙏𝙊 '85❞

PAGE 8

Disclaimer: Mentions of self harm

Onika woke up to the sound of an annoying ass beeping in her ear, slowly and surely she managed to open her eyes to the worried looks of her parents and friends above her.

"She's awake!" Lauren's voice rung out giving her even more of a headache, "t-too loud.."

Lauren sent an apologetic look her way and pretty soon a doctor walked in much to the confusion of her, he checked her vitals and a few other things then left out the room with her father.

"T-" she didn't even get to finish her sentence as Robyn passed her a cup of water, she sent a grateful smile her way and once she was finally able to talk clearly she asked the question that had been on her mind all along.

"H-how long have I been out?"

"Seven days." Her mother mutters out not knowing what to even think of the situation.

"Why didn't you tell us a-anything?" Lauren questions her eyes brimming with tears, Robyn had a solemn look on her face as well while her mother just stared at her in an unreadable expression.

Onika slowly looks down at her arm which is connected to a drip and sure enough it was covered in thick lines where she had used the blade to rip at her skin.

She tried covering her arm but to no avail since the sleeve wasn't long enough.

"We could've helped, you should've said something! Told someone!" Lauren was letting out angry tears now, while Onika just cried.

Robyn hugged her in comfort, while Onika just cried on her shoulder like a baby.. something she had been doing for the past five months of Beyoncé's passing.

"You don't f-fucking understand! You never will! You don't know how it fucking feels like to l-lose the one you love! You don't!" Onika screams out with tears in her eyes, a heart broken Robyn holds her tight as she let herself cry out her frustrations "I miss her okay and I can't get her back!"

Lauren sighs out.. Onika was right she doesn't know how it feels like but that doesn't mean she should hurt herself over it.

Beyoncé wouldn't want that.

"Her family blames me for her death, I get bullied over it. How the hell would you know how that feels like?!"

"You're right, I don't know how that feels like but I do know Beyoncé wouldn't have wanted you to hurt yourself like this!"

"Please leave."

"Hmm..?"

"Leave. I want to be alone." They just stare at her for a while before finally deciding to leave her be.

Onika cried and cried and did even more crying, every moment she woke up she thought about Beyoncé.

She couldn't even sleep without the thought of Beyoncé holding her close. How was she going to carry on living?!

Beyoncé's parents hadn't even let her attend the funeral, she couldn't say a final goodbye.. nothing!

All she had now we're memories, from the first day they met at the carnival to the day she died right in her arms.

But she knew if she needed to carry on, she would have to accept life, she would have to move on although it would not be easy at all she would have to try hard.

____

"It's been what five years?" The raven haired woman chuckles although painfully, she drops the bouquet of white roses on the gravestone which read.

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles

1985- 2003

"Where do I begin?" She pauses "I'm dating Robyn. I love her a lot trust me I do but I could never love anyone like I love you. I think I've established that countless times." She smiles running her fingers along the carvings on the stone.

"I just graduated college. Longest four years of my life!" She chuckles although it didn't reach her eyes "I wish you were here to experience it with me. Sol and Lauren are dating.. I guess our family just has a connection.. your dad still doesn't like me." She laughs at that, the man really hated her guts for real.

"I love you beybeh I really do, you know now you're in heaven you can put in a good word for me. I'm tryna cleanse my sinning life."

She spends most of the day talking to Beyoncé, until it was finally time to leave which she did so painfully.

No matter how many times she comes here it's never easy for her to depart.

At least she was doing much better now, she was now almost five years clean and had gotten back into dating again.

"One day my love."

THE END