Lessons (Karushuu)

Lesson 6

Gakushuu's Pov

For dinner, we had the rare opportunity of having dessert, it was dairy and I shouldn't have been having it but it just looked so appetizing, I couldn't help it. Today was turning around the bad days before it, and almost starting to feel like a normal school-

Well without the complete silence - and solitary confinement after 10 o clock.

Some people would try to make conversations but they would end nowhere since topics to speak of was rare at the school for troubled teens. Karma wasn't here tonight either, I resisted the temptation to sneak a biscoff tart in my trousers to share with him. It's a pity he was banned from dinner, he seemed like an avid enjoyer of sweet dishes.

At the table, Nagisa started off the conversation which was unusual for him.

"Tomorrow I get my home pass!" He says

"That's wonderful!" Isogai smiles as he eats.

"I wish I'd get one tooo, it's been a while since I've seen my dog" Maehara laments.

"What's a home pass again?" I raise the question.

"Basically if you show consistent improvement in behaviour, they let you go home for a day as reward!" The bluenette chirps.

Ah, maybe I'll get one soon then.

"They only give these out after you've stayed atleast for six months" Isogai burst my bubble quick enough.

"So how long have you been here?" I ask.

I earn a glare from Alejandro at the table across us and I look back again at my food.
Everyone drops the conversation.
I feel guilty, and try to rebuild it.

"Well do your parents visit often?"

"They're allowed to book visitations but they're hard to get" responds Maehara.

Well I doubt my father will book any, anyways.

"Yeah! My mother visited last month! I was really glad.." Isogai shyly looked away in case that was too "personal" to share.

Though Nagisa had a homepass, he didn't seem too stoked about meeting his parents. Though, I did see some spark of excitement in his eyes since he'd be out of this place for a day atleast.

After dinner, me and everyone else was surprised to find Karma already asleep in the dorm.

"There's a rule that says nobody's allowed to sleep out of sleeping hours" Nagisa says putting a blanket on Karma.

"But they don't have to know what they don't know" Isogai smiled closing the door.

I guess even the most perfect one of us was capable of showing resistance to the system. They were all a lot more relaxed inside the dorms, and the doors couldn't be l o c k e d, but they could be shut. For a while, you had no eyes on you. The freedom was exhilarating.

I read a book for a while, since no controversial books were allowed I had to read the Bible.

Yes they confiscated the Harry Potter books,
Witchcraft is bad kids,
Don't do it.

I wonder upon why Judas betrayed Jesus, only to hang himself. We don't hear anything of him, other than the fact that he betrayed the son of God.

With a kiss,
Oh the irony, a kiss that usually symbolises love, represents the loss of trust in the text.

There's sentiment in everything because I find myself so bored, that I read it for a while after.

When 10:30 arrives I put it on my desk, and go to "sleep". I hope they come in for a room check and see the bible on my desk and note this as spiritual g r o w t h.

No matter what though, I could not sleep. There was no reason to sleep. I never faced this problem before, but I realised I barely spoke to Karma today. Why should that bug me so?

I kept my eyes closed, I hoped for a pair of hands to wake me up when the clock hits me, but they never did.

Finally, overtaken by temptation, I slip out of bed and look over at Karma.

There he lies, a blanket over him. Today he's decided he'll wear his clothes properly because his collar is actually fine for once. He's sweating hard, does he feel hot? I can hear his breath as I go nearer to him, and I don't know WHAT urges me to, but I put my ear down on his chest to feel his heartbeat.
Almost instantly I regret it and pull away, hoping he didn't feel it.
But I felt it, his heartbeat. It was so rapid and fast, like the beat to an action movie.

As I comfort myself knowing he didn't notice, he suddenly shoots up in bed, staring at me, his pupils dilated.

I freeze where I am.
What the fuck, I'm such a creep.
Maybe they're right, maybe I do need help, maybe that's why I'm here.

He doesn't say anything, for some reason he's frozen too.

And I notice in his eyes something I thought I never would, fear.

I can barely think of that before he gets off his bed and pins me to my own, his fingers around my neck.

A/n: this chapter is a little shorter than the other ones I'm really sorry TwT I'll write a bigger one tomorrow after my exam, or on Sunday. (Yes we get exams of Saturday, joy) I wanted to keep the chapter slightly casual but may have strayed 😔💅hope you had a fun time reading this, because I had a fun time writing it for you people to read VwV
As always, take care my fellow girlbosses/manbosses/people/heterotrophs 🤷‍♀️🚘
See you soon! 💞Mwah