The Hamburger Postulate

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Rose was going to go to the Cheesecake Factory to get some lunch and a drink or two so she could wait for Penny since she was going to drag her on a double date with a guy and his friend. When she was walking out of the apartment, Leonard and the guys were walking out too and they all greeted each other and Howard said a weird pick up line.

"Howard," Rose looked at him with a weird look, "no."

Howard awkwardly nodded and stepped back as Leonard stepped up, "what are you doing?"

"Penny is working right now and I wanted a bite to eat and a drink. You guys wanna come with? It's not too far from here,"

"I could grab a bite to eat," Leonard turned to the guys, "you guys wanna go to the Cheesecake Factory?"

The guys agreed so they walked out to Leonard's car as Rose went to her own and they followed her to the place that Penny worked at. They got seated in the middle of the room and the guys started grabbing all the salts and the condiments to talk about something of war and hypotheticals of superheroes and witches being involved. Rose was just looking at the menu until Penny went to their table with her notepad for orders.

"You guys ready to order?" Penny asked.

"Hang on, honey," Howard said, "Shiva and Ganesh, the Hindu Gods, against the entire Union army?" Howard exclaimed at Raj.

"I'll be back," Penny walked to the back of the restaurant.

"I gotta use the restroom so I'll also be back too," Rose went to the restroom.

"Excuse me. Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva is the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps,"

"Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back," Penny clicked her pen open.

"What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?" Howard asked as Rose walked back.

"A shower," Rose said as she took her seat again.

"I'll take the Heart Smart platter,"

"Alright. Thank you, and Sheldon?"

"We don't eat her. I don't know what's good,"

"Well, it's all good,"

"Statistically unlikely,"

"Just get a hamburger. You like hamburgers," Leonard tried to help.

"I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers. You can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here,"

Leonard apologized before turning to Penny, "give him a hamburger,"

"Which one? The Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger, or the Kobe Burger?" Penny listed.

"Can't we just go to Big Boy?" Sheldon asked, "they only have one burger. The Big Boy,"

"The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy," Penny pointed out.

"Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something like the Big Boy?" Sheldon asked.

"Because you're not at Big Boy!" Penny snapped.

"Fine. I'll have the Barbecue Burger. Make it two," Leonard said, passing Penny the menus.

"Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy," Sheldon muttered.

"Pen, I'll take a fettuccine alfredo with chicken," Rose said.

"Hey, Leonard. Hi, guys," a girl with glasses walked up to the group.

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