How I See You

One

Some people say life is a journey. It is a series of steps and moments that take an individual through their ups and downs.

To those idealistic people, life is meant to be a lesson. We are expected to take the pain and lies and misery that accompany us in our everyday life and turn it into something positive, something that helps us to grow as a person.

In this way, life is beautiful, even when it hurts.

What a load of crap, I say.

My name is Freen Sarocha Manoban, but people close to me just calls me Freen. I was eight and my sister, Lisa, was 10, when our parents decided it was time for divorce. Since then it was just us three.

It got better now as we grew older. But trust me when I say that I would know that life is no journey, but a freaking accident. A series of unfortunate events that human beings need to go through to survive.

And love? I used to believe that there was no such thing as love.. only betrayal and duplicity.

Until I met her.

Rebecca Patricia Armstrong

My best friend. The love of my life. The person who doesn't love me back that way.

You know why? Because she's in love with, of all people, my sister. Funny how life works isn't it? Trust me, I find that ridiculously, painfully, funny.

Oh here she is!

"Freeeen!" She comes screeching with that big smile of hers towards me, as cheerful as ever. Hah! Cute.

A smile falls upon my face. She always brings that joy in me. Ugh, I'm hopeless. "Hey, you're late. I was starting to think you forgot about me." I sulk, she finds that cute for some reason. I wasn't really mad, I could never be mad at her.

She pouts and responded with her puppy brown eyes. Now that's not fair. "I got stuck in that stupid project I was working on with Irin and Nop, and they have this thing for this weekend where we have to-"

My loud ring tone erupted from my phone and I jumped, clicking every part of my smart phone screen possible in an attempt to turn off the sound. Then I saw it was my sister calling. I rolled my eyes at Becky's excited gasp.

"Can I help you?" I whispered nastily, still annoyed that she interrupted my limited time with Becky, and maybe for some other reason accompanied by jealousy.

"Whoa there grumpy pants. I'm sorry for calling so sudden but I need you to be home early tonight so we can help mom prepare dinner."

"You're home?" I asked, surprised. Lisa hasn't been home in two months due to her busy schedule in university. Although she talks to mom often, she doesn't really call me much unless it's something worth gathering everyone around in the dinner table.

"Yes. I have something to talk to you and mom about. It's really important so will you please be home early? Please please?"

Another thing of my weakness list, my sister's aegyo voice. I helplessly sighed. "Sure, okay. But is everything okay?" I side eyed Becky and saw her pretending-busy on her phone. I know she wasn't eavesdropping though, it just irks me that her body language shows how much she wants to know just about anything going on with my sister.

"Yeah everything is great. I'll see you tonight baby sis. I miss your grumpy face." She teased before hanging up without letting me respond. She really need to change that bad habit.

"Was that Lisa?" Becky's excited voice rung in my ears as soon as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Yes." I replied, my tone clipped.

I can't help it. I know it's unreasonable for me to get jealous of her crushing on my sister when Lisa is pretty much head over heels in love with her girlfriend, Jennie. I know she has no chance, but still.

"How is she? Is she coming home for the holidays?" She asked giddily while holding onto my arm. Her eyes sparkling and just so, so infatuated it breaks my heart a little. 

"She always comes home for the holidays, but she's home today and wants me to come home early to help with dinner." I nonchalantly said as I started packing my stuff in my bag and picked up her bottle of water. "Here, drink more. You've been in the sun all day."

She eagerly drinks it wide eyes as she tries to gather herself together with the news, it would have looked funny if it's not making me jealous like hell.

She took a nervous gulp and fidgeted. "What's wrong?" I questioned, though I can already sense the gear running in her head.

"Um.. C-Can I come over? Tonight?"

Turning my full attention towards her, I clutched the bottle of water I was holding. "You want to see her badly?"

"Y-Yeah. I mean, she's rarely home and I haven't seen her in months so you know.. I was hoping to catch up maybe?"

"You do know-" I snapped, but stopped myself when I noticed her nervous face. "Bec.. You do know she has a girlfriend right? Are you still really set on confessing to her?" I prompted, gently as I could muster.

"I know. I just.. It's been two years and I really want to get this off of my chest.. and.. and I might not get another chance to talk to her again until the holidays and that would be so much worse-"

"Alright, alright." I gave in, defeatedly. As much as I hate what's going to happen, I don't like seeing her like this. "Make sure you look incredibly hot tonight my sister would regret dating Jennie Kim when you confessed." I smirk at the blush creeping up to her face. She's so easy to read. It's not fair, Lisa.

"Thank you Freen. You're the best of all best best-friend in the world! I love you so much!" She giggles as she hugs me gratefully.

I sighed, taking the warmth from her embrace, "I love you too,"

Wishing so bad she could feel how much.