013 | At Peace

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It had been a week since I was discharged from the hospital and I'm still in quite a bit of pain but not as much as I have been. Today I had a hospital appointment, it was to see if I was going to get clearance to go back to work but I highly doubt I will, I can't really do my job at the moment, I'm struggling both mentally and physically, I wouldn't be much help if o was on ambo and I can't exactly run into burning buildings at the moment.

"Good morning beautiful" Hailey said as I rolled over, a smile formed on my face as i saw hailey stood in the doorway wearing one of my oversized t-shirts.

"Good morning Gorgeous" I said before I let out a yawn. I gently pushed myself into a sitting position.

"You know you look a pretty in my clothes" I grinned admiring my girlfriend, it may have only been a week but I have definitely fallen deeper in love and I was happy again; not fully happy, I was still struggling mentally but I was still happy.

"They look better on you" Hailey said coming over to me and kissed me gently.

"They look way better on the floor" I grinned as I bite down on my lower lip, I wasn't the best at flirting, I would say I terrible at it but this was my attempt at flirting.

"Such a flirt" hailey joked as I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her onto the bed.

"Only to you" I said planting a kiss on her soft lips..

"I wish we could stay here all day" I whispered as we just lay on my bed after I had pulled Hailey down.

"I've got next weekend off, we can spend it all here or we could go to my place. It's up to you" Hailey said gently kissing my cheek.

"Yours, I think we could do with a change of scenery" I said truthfully,

"So it's planned next weekend, you and me, spending the weekend in bed together. How's that sound" hailey asked smiling while tucking a strand of my messy hair behind my ear.

"It sounds perfect" I turned to face her slightly and smiled. Hailey was perfect even when she wasn't all dressed up for work, when she had messy hair and no make up on, perfect; although she didn't wear that much makeup, she was still perfect to me.

"We better get ready for the day" I sighed as I just layer their looking at Hailey as she did to me.

"You don't want to be late for your appointment" Hailey reminded me.

"Are you still coming with me?" I asked Hailey, I wanted her to come even if she didn't have to be their.

"If you want me to be their then I'll be their" Hailey reassured me, our fingers intertwined as we lay side by side on my bed, our legs hanging over the side as I let out a small sigh, I knew I wouldn't be cleared for duty today, it would probably be another week or so until I'm cleared mentally.

"You okay?" Hailey's asked, her thumb was gently rubbing over the back of my hand.

"I'm fine, I know I won't be cleared to go back to work today; I know it'll probably be another week maybe two. It'll probably be hard for me to go back to work, mentally I mean. I want to go back to work, I miss being with my firehouse family, I love my firehouse family and they make me a better person. I get to save people when I'm working. Truthfully I just want to feel myself again." I sighed wincing as I felt like I was being stabbed in the chest.

"That look on your face says otherwise" Hailey said sitting up.

"I keep letting this stabbing pain in my chest, when I breath, if I move too face. Not all the time but a few times. I know my body has been through a whole lotta trauma but this pain. It's just a whole new level of pain" I said, I knew I made little to no sense at all but I hoped Hailey would understand.

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