❛. 𝑪𝑰𝑻𝑴 ⸻ ᴛᴜᴘᴀᴄ ꜱʜᴀᴋᴜʀ . ❜

⋆┊❛ 𝘾.𝙊.𝙋.𝙀. ❜┊⋆

"Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. He's nothing to me! Bomb motherfucker." I chanted as I began to run up the treadmill. Breathing heavily in and out I kept my body from bomb-rushing. I was angry but that anger quickly took to positivity. Two words that don't go together? Well...for me I took those meanings and made them into my own definition, it's like having the motive to do something that makes people feel sorrow. In this situation I saw myself as eating healthy and being active as the way to go.

I was gaining weight like crazy, spending days in my bed sleeping and eating like crazy, I started off eating my soul to death overeating as I felt so useless when it came to Tupac and him being married. I still talked to Afeni but I would always ignore our conversation when it came to talking about him. On other days I would call to check in but I wouldn't do it. Afeni was just sweet, she told me to not let it get to me. She said someday her son will grow up to be the man I want him to be. She said he'll come and I believed her, I believed my mother-in-law with everyone I had in me, even though she wasn't technically labeled as that for me, it still felt like she was a mother figure to me and she made it known.

Her and Jan really gave me courage. If it wasn't staying in bed crying, it was me getting closer to them. I leaned on them as the people I need as a focus on getting my life back together. If there was one thing I needed to was becoming a woman, hide the pain, and be better than ever. That's all I could do at this point in my life.