Happy Miserable Mess (FOB/Patrick Stump FanFic)

Chapter 5

Author's Note: Hey guys! So sorry for the super late update. I was out all day and then I just came back from seeing Fall Out Boy in concert (they were phenomenal!!!). But I still wanted to try and stick to my schedule (apologies for being a few minutes late), so here's the chapter and I hope you like it! -Rachael

I was standing in the bathroom off of the master bedroom at the sink, my hands grasping the sides of the porcelain counter-top as I stared into the mirror that reflected my image back to me.

It was four in the morning and it was still dark out. The sun hadn't even started to rise yet.

I had no reason to be up at an hour like that, but I was. I couldn't sleep, not when there wasn't someone there beside me to keep me warm.

I'd been waking up at that hour for about a week then, and before that week, at five. Each morning, I came into the bathroom, clung onto the sink, and stared into the shiny piece of glass. As if I was waiting for someone to appear behind me, a familiar face maybe. To tell me that everything was going to be okay, that I was going to get through this.

But I never saw that familiar face. All I saw was me. That's all I ever saw. Me.

Tears began to form in my eyes and I started finding it harder and harder to breathe. I whimpered and closed my eyes, tilting my head down and letting the tears roll down my cheeks in streams.

It was hard, dealing with her gone. I wasn't quite convinced that it was real, that she was really gone. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense.

Just then, the home phone I still had for god knows what reason began to ring. I snapped my head up and looked over my shoulder into my bedroom, where the ringing was coming from.

I wiped my cheeks dry and trudged over to the nightstand. I sat down on the edge of the bed and sniffled before I picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Patrick, hey!" It was Pete. Heaven knew why he was calling me at goddamn four in the morning.

"Hey," I replied, a little annoyed with him for calling me, "What's up?"

"Is it cool if the guys and I come over today? We kind of want to apologize for yesterday...and we also want do something together before Christmas. That is...if you're up for it," He tacked on.

"Dude, why would I not be up for hanging out with you guys?" I produced an artificial chuckle.

If I'm being completely honest with you, I really didn't want to hang out with them that day. Not because of them, of course - I loved and still do love those guys like my own brothers. But I just wanted to be alone and I think I was justified at that time to want that.

"I don't know, it's just that...we haven't really heard from you or seen you since...you know."

Pete never addressed her death directly. It was always "you know".

"Well, excluding the party," He went on to say, "But that didn't count because we didn't really talk except when you were leaving," He laughed nervously at the end.

I remained silent.

"So...what do you say? Can we come over?"

"Yeah. I'll have to bring Parker along wherever you want to take me, though. I mean, I'm sure my mom would be more than generous to watch him again, but I've called her up so many times these past few weeks...I think she deserves a break."

"Totally. You can bring Parker along. We won't mind." Although he and I were only talking over the phone, I knew a smile crept up on his face when he said that.