𝐛𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 ❝ [requests temporarily closed] ¡! ❞

🧸🧷 yoongi ¡! ❞ panic attack

! trigger warning !

mental health issues, detailed description of anxiety, panic attack

[...]

summary;

yoongi collapses due to a panic attack, namjoon and jimin appearing by his side to help him go through it.

[...]

yoongi has been under a lot of pressure lately. it wasn't anything beyond ordinary, considering the busy lifestyle of a top kpop idol yoongi lives. dance practices, diets, rehearsals, producing music, photoshoots, interviews. he could manage. it wasn't like it was something new. it wasn't like he was completely alone in this. he knew for a fact that his brothers also stressed over a lot. especially the leader of bangtan, namjoon. if anything, he was the one to be the most entitled to complain with all the formalities, all the meetings he had to attend, and all the additional burdens he had to carry. yet he didn't complain. namjoon was coping fine. so why wouldn't yoongi?

it's not like yoongi had to stay for extra dance practices, like jin. or help with the choreography, like hoseok or jimin. it's not like yoongi had to stick to a diet, like taehyung. or prepare for vocal lessons like jungkook, desperately trying to heal sore from overusing his voice throat.

it's not like yoongi had to do anything beyond what he was doing now. just a mere dance practice, less intense singing practice than the vocal line had, and producing music.

producing music. yoongi sighs exasperatedly, saving up his five-hour work, barely managing to hold himself back from deleting the whole thing. he isn't satisfied in the tiniest bit yet lots of deadlines are hanging above his head like a guillotine, leaving him no other choice than just do whatever to at least have proof that he is actually working on something.

he has been feeling off recently. he doesn't want to excuse himself from work, it would only make him guilty to worry his friends while they are overflown by responsibilities and tasks themselves.
that's why nobody knew about how in the past few weeks yoongi's mind has been constantly blanking out, side-tracking, and drifting off, sabotaging his efforts to produce. and how the same unfocused mind would brush the sleep off his eyelids and keep the rapper up till the early morning in a state of a restless bundle of nerves, intrusive thoughts and dark scenarios being his only lullaby. worries and concerns would only wait for him, circling his head like vultures, ready to dig their sharp claws into his mood and well-being whenever he even attempted to think for a brief second of something worry-inducing. each time a new problem was crossing his path, yoongi's poor heart would grow heavier and heavier, leaving the boy tensed up and distressed even more than before, if even possible.

this mental condition unfortunately yet expectedly took a great toll on him physically too.
his skin was ghost-like pale, his eyes dull and underlined with dark bags, his mouth felt constantly dry, his migraines were visiting him more and more often, and his body was extremely tensed and fatigued.

the rest of bangtan could see that something was going on with their second-oldest hyung yet nobody could put a finger on it. they tried talking to him a few times but he would always dismiss them with a simple excuse. and no one had anything more to say, too scared to make yoongi snap. he has grown very irritable nowadays, they learned it the hard way.

it'll pass. yoongi liked to tell himself, and this is what he also does now, taking his headphones off and getting ready to leave. after all, it is getting late.

"i'm sorry, manager-nim, for disappointing you for the hundredth time," he says quietly to himself, already preparing for tomorrow's scolding he is going to get for the work he hadn't touched yet.