Chapter 14

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Harlyn

I replay the night about a million times during my shift. Bobbi keeps snapping at me to get my head out of the clouds, but I can't stop thinking about Finley. How quiet he was when he first got to the library. His eyes when I introduced him to Francesca. His face in the bathroom stall, scrunched and tear streaked. I didn't see it. I didn't notice. What a crap friend I am.

Thank God Max knew what to do, that he was there. Why didn't I ask about his anxiety before? Why didn't I ask what I should do if something like that happened? If I'm completely honest, I didn't think it was that bad. I really should have asked.

I clock out earlier than I expect for once, so I get to the Eleto Chocolate Cafe early, standing on the corner outside to wait. The bottom level is all massive windows, met at the top by a dark awning. The floor above it has big windows, too, but they're nestled in light brown bricks. There's a scattering of metal tables and chairs out front, but they're empty. It's too cold for anyone to eat outside. It's one of my favorite places in the city. Elly and I study here sometimes, when our rooms feel too claustrophobic.

I'm scrolling through Insta when Finley appears. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his shoulders are bunched up again. But he's smiling slightly, and compared to last night, compared to the pain radiating off his whole body in that bathroom stall, he looks ok. Relief floods through me - relief at seeing him smiling and walking and, honestly, relief that he actually came. Before I know it, I'm hugging him. What am I doing? I've never hugged him before. Well, I did last night, but did that really count?

He doesn't push me away though. He hugs me back, linking his hands behind me and letting out a little, "Um, hi?"

"Hi," I say. And then I pull away, backing up a few steps. I'm so awkward. What am I doing?

"What was that for?" he asks, a stunned and slightly amused expression on his face.

"Oh, er." I clear my throat and stare at the sidewalk. "Sorry. I just...Well, the last time I saw you, you were sitting on the floor of a bathroom stall crying and...I don't know. It's good to see you feeling better."

"Oh, well, thank you," he says.

"Are you? Feeling better?"

"Um, yeah. Better. Not a hundred percent, but better," he says. "I didn't sleep all that great, but Max came over this morning and kept me company, so that was nice."

"Good," I say. "Well, welcome to the chocolate cafe." I sweep my arm at the cafe, watching for his smile.

"You kept the chocolate cafe from us?" he asks, giving me a look. "Been holding out."

I shrug and open the door for him. The cafe is long and narrow inside, and I lead him up a winding staircase to the top floor. We claim a table by the windows, looking down at the square below us. I order tea and he goes for a milkshake. As the waitress whisks away our menus, we're left with nothing to distract us. Alone.

"So," Finley says, shrugging off his coat. "What did you want to talk about?"

Jumping right in then. I was hoping for more small talk. I want to ask him about his anxiety, if he's ok with it. Max told me he's usually pretty open about it if you ask. But the list of questions I always have in the back of my mind about Finley runs like credits in my head. And briefly, the thought to tell him how I feel about him presents itself as a possibility, too. But that seems too much for today.

"Harlyn?" His soft voice snaps me back to the present, and I search his tired face. His freckles are more prominent than usual.

"Well, I wanted to check up on you after...everything."

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