Not A Temporary Love | Finley & Harlyn #1

Chapter 32

Harlyn

Elly is sitting on my bed, hands fidgeting in her lap. She looks so much like Finley that I almost laugh from my desk chair. She's tired and nervous, and she keeps adjusting the scarf around her hair. Finley asked if I wanted him to be here, but I told him I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to just be with Elly. And even though there's so much unsaid between us, it feels so good to just have her in the same room again. It nearly made me cry when Mum greeted her with a hug and told her she missed her. And now here we are. Alone.

"El -"

"Har -"

"You go," I say, mostly because I don't have any idea what to actually say. There's a lot I want to explain, and I have a lot of questions. But I'm not sure where to start. Maybe I can gather my thoughts while she talks.

"Ok. Erm." She clears her throat. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked out that day."

"It's alright," I say.

"No," she insists, fixing me with that you better listen to me, Harlyn Evans look. "It wasn't ok. It was a crap move as your best friend. And I'm really really sorry." This all feels like déjà vu of Sunday night, hearing Finley say almost the exact same thing.

"Thank you," I say.  "If the...you know...bisexual thing...makes you uncomfortable -"

"No!" she exclaims. "God no, Harlyn. Of course not." I furrow my eyebrows at her. "I'm - It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all." She pauses. "Well, not like that. It caught me by surprise for sure. And it'll take some getting used to. Not-not because it's weird. Well, it is kind of weird. We're both going to check out boys now." I let out a laugh. "But it's just new, you know?" I realize that it's Elly that Finley reminds me of when he rambles.

"I do know," I say. "It's...new for me, too."

"Right. Of course." Silence. Stupid silence.

"So," I drawl. "Can I ask why you...left then?" She pulls in a big breath.

"Well," she starts. "I felt kind of ambushed." I lower my gaze to her socks. "I mean, I probably would have felt that way no matter what you did, because like I said it's just new. And different. But like...Finley was there. And that felt weird, because...I just - I hated that you thought you couldn't tell me. And that you were too scared? To tell me just one on one? That you, like, had to have Finley there. And then he started explaining being gay to me. And - which, fair, honestly." She holds up a hand. "He has every right to. But like...I dunno. And then you said it had already been going on for, like, a month. And I felt like I'd done something wrong, that I'd screwed up so badly that you didn't even feel like you could tell me."

"Oh, Elly," I breathe, rolling my chair so that I'm right in front of her.

"And then I was an idiot and left without telling you how much I love you and how happy I am for you. And I avoided you for two stupid weeks and missed out on Paris. And let you think I hated you. And didn't let you explain anything."

"El, breathe," I say and grab her hands. She takes a shaky breath. "I wanted to tell you. So badly. We tell each other everything. I just...didn't know how to say it. I didn't know how to explain that I was starting to like a boy. But I didn't know what that meant. And I didn't know if it was...because I just liked him as a really good friend. Or as like...something more than that. That I kissed him. That all I wanted to do was hold his hand all the time."

"God, Harley, you are such a sap," she groans, but she's laughing. And I feel all the tension in the air dissipate. "You could have just said that. That. Right there. I've heard about all of your insane and soppy crushes since we were seven years old and you couldn't stop talking about how good Jenny Phillips looked in her new pink hair ribbons at the playground."