𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟑

damian

I had no idea what the fuck I was doing or what I was fucking thinking. I think I'm losing my mind. And it all had to do with a certain brunette angel.

What the fuck was I thinking when I said I would teach her? A part of me was fucking disturbed that I said that, but a large part of me was fucking excited. All I wanted was for Carmen to say yes to my offer even though I had a gut feeling she would turn it down. A wave of disappointment washed over me, my gut feeling was always right and rarely ever wrong.

I'm not really sure what Carmen meant to me, but she was nothing special, I can tell you that. I didn't do monogamy and sure as fuck didn't do commitment. Carmen was just a toy for me to mess around with, nothing else.

There was one thing though, I wanted to corrupt her. Ruin her in every way shape or form, so no other man would be able to go near her. It made me feel like a fucking caveman but I was past the point of caring. I've come to accept it.

After our first study session together, I realized that I was acting like a fucking idiot. I was a dickhead to everyone, yet to her, I couldn't find it in me to reciprocate that same expression. For some odd reason, I was..soft around Carmen.

I cringed, the thought making me feel disgusted. I didn't do 'soft' for anyone and didn't feel like starting now. That's why I made the executive decision to be horrible to her after, fighting off all the mushy feelings I was going through. Seeing the tears form in her eyes when she walked out was basically like a stab in my fucking chest and I immediately felt regret after, wanting to run after her and hold her in my arms, making her forget I ever made her cry.

But that was something a mushy person would do, so I chose to shut the door and take a fucking nap. I was getting angry, from the built up sexual frustration I was feeling. This was the longest I've ever fucking gone without sex and it was pissing me off. Call me celibate or some shit, but I hated it. All I could think about was Carmen, and I swear my right arm is now stronger than my left from all the times I've fucked my fist in the shower.

So what if volunteering to teach Carmen about pleasure was mainly self motivated? Sue me. Thoughts of her on my bed, legs spread and naked filled my mind and my mouth started watering, my heart starting to beat faster.

Fuck's sake this girl was making me go insane.

My leg's been killing me ever since the last football training session and so, as a result, I have to do some stupid fucking leg stretches. Finishing up on them, I lifted myself off the couch and began walking to the kitchen, passing the dining table on the way.

I hate my life.

I leant against the marble kitchen island, facing the dining table, trying my best to imagine yesterday as best as possible. Carmen looked fucking beautiful, even when she thought she didn't. Her hair was down, with a few extra strands left out framing her face, and her pink lips kept bringing me in to look at them.

I had to physically force myself to stop staring at her all the other times we studied, because I most likely came across as a creep. I could stare at this girl all fucking day and not get bored.

"Fucking get it together, asshole." I grumbled, running a hand through my hair.

Thinking about Carmen was starting to become an hourly thing for me, and I would count myself lucky if I went half a day without imagining her. I really fucking hope she says yes to my offer. I wouldn't even know where to fucking start with the girl, but I would enjoy every bit of whatever she decided to let me have. I would bask in the knowing feeling that no other man has ever had what she's giving to me.