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Escape [13]

Tws// mentions of suicide (nothing bad), running away, mentions of head bashing 🥰

~Tommy's POV~

It made no sense.

Then again, what does make sense anymore?

But still. It didn't make sense. Why would Wilbur go from wanting to bash my head in, to saving my ass, to making me participate in his family group hugs in the middle of the street.

Its been on my mind since we got back in Phil's car. Since I couldn't fall back asleep even though Techno's shoulder was comfortable, and the quiet humming Phil was doing reminded me of my Nonas house before my parents died, and the heat in Phil's car was reminding me of my old bedroom back in the orphanage when Ranboo would sneak in my room after they were allowed and we would have sleepovers.

I missed ranboo. He was my best friend. He always knew what to say or do. He was kind and funny. He was just great. And i know he still goes to the same school as me and I'll see him again now that im being banished back to my old class. But its different not living with him. Not seeing him every day.

Now i have to see a bunch of strangers everyday. I dont know when or even if they will stop being strangers. I don't know how long im stuck here with Phil whos trying but still tries too hard, and Techno whos the only one who really seems to know what to say, and Wilbur who keeps sending me mixed signals. Im stuck with these people who know nothing about me. Other than what they could read. They don't know my favorite color, or that my favorite shirt is a red and white baseball tee, they dont know that when i was 4 i taught myself how to ride a bike without training wheels in 3 days, they dont know i fell off a slide when i was 6 and had to wear a neck brace for 3 weeks. They just know my name, maybe my birthday, and that im a fuck up of a kid.

And thats when it hits me. They already know I'm a fuck up, this could have been the only and last straw for them. Phil may just go on hating me. I mean think about it, you take in this kid with a shitty rep and then he just goes on and proves that. He must be wondering whats next, whats the next thing I'll do to make him hate me. (420 here) Whats the final thing to send me back there.

Why stay when you'll just go back anyways? Whats the point in getting your hopes up. Times like these are why I never unpack much when i get some where. Even if i did its not like there was much to unpack anyways. It was more of a not allowing myself to settle.

I threw the few things I had taken out of my bags back in. I made the bed, it was something I'd gotten pretty good at because at the orphanage we'd get in trouble for not making out beds, and when you get in trouble the older guys fuck you up for it.

The window wasn't difficult to get out through. It looked scarier than it was. It was on the second story but the rain made the dirt softer and my fall as well. Not that it mattered, I'd broken a foot hopping out a window before and nobody ever knew. The hardest part of this was getting away while hiding from the OTHER widows.

Once I was able to make a clean path out I broke into a run. I had no place to go set in mind but at the same time i knew exactly what I was doing. Exactly where I'd needed. I passed familiar landmarks, the corner store, the pond, the flower shop. I turned down a highway about 30 minutes into the walk. I was drenched and shivering from the rain but I'd survive. I walked on the side of the busy street, staying away from cars. Not that it mattered.

I'm not suicidal, well at least not like some people are. I don't go around my everyday life thinking about killing myself. I have moments I want to die. I think the majority of people do. But I dont have plans or notes or any of that shit. And I'm thankful for that. But at the same time if I were to...you know... Right here right now, I would not have an issue with it. I dont have particularly anything to stay for (maybe Ranboo but I think they could live without me), but yet no valid reasons to want to go.

The highway ended here, I was almost there. I did feel guilty about bringing Ranboo into this, they shouldn't need to deal with my shit. Yet i miss my friend.

That disgusting building came into veiw. I knew Ran's window by heart since we used to sneak out together pretty often. i walked on the left side of the building (from the street) and went 3 windows down. A (dead) plant was sat in the windowsill as always, newly accompanied by a photo frame, the photo itself wasnt visible from the outside.

I tapped gently, the same tap as always

Knuckle, fingernail, fingernail, pause, knuckle

"Hullo?" I heard them. A feeling of safety immediately rushed through me.

"Ran! Dude get out here, and grab your raincoat and umbrella"

"Tommy??"

"Yeah! Come out you tall bastard"

It took a solid 7 minutes until they stumbled out of the window.

"Dude are you okay....? You're like soaked and what happened to your face???"

"Am i not hot anymore? Ouch." Fake hurt plastered all over my face earning a chuckle from Ranboo.

"I'll tell you about it if we go to the playground?" I said, internally begging for a yes.

"Okay, but i expect every detail"

"Deal"

So we walked. And i talked occasionally earning sort responses like "mhm", "yeah", "what??", "No way", and my personal favorite "what in the goo goobie"

"Wait so, let me get this straight. This kid, named Wilbur" i nodded "he shoved you into a railing, busted your head open, and then like 2 days later....he hugs you in the middle of the street????"

"Yeah. Its so weird right??? Like what am i supposed to do with that shit???"

"Man thats weird"

"Whats new in hell?"

"Uh well, the scum that likes shoving the toddlers got sent to juvie."

"No shit really? Man i should have seen that coming "

So there we were, sitting in a kids swing set and just talking.

Seeing my best friend...it was like a form of escape.

__________________

1133 words!! Sorry this took forever....(its been 3 months)

The next chapter will probably also take forever. I dont have ANY other chapters even started when publishing this so....yayyyy.

Love you guys though, thanks for sticking with me, even when my motivation to continue this is a pain in my ass :)

Stay safe, i hope you're all well!

-blu ♡︎