𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘵

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life is not a fairytale.
it may feel like one sometimes, but there is a reason why the word fairytale exists- to distract from reality. reality always wins. it destroys the fantasy. does this depress you? of course it does- but that is the truth, and you've come to learn that.
that's why you are trying to find a loophole. some other way to prove the truth is unstable, or at least alterable- it has to be. but you're having no luck, so you hope the loophole finds you.

matt broke up with you exactly one month to the day. he was a sobbing wreck, refusing to answer every single plea for reconsideration. you knew in your heart it was because there was no answers to your questions. there was no reason to leave, but your relationship was your own enemy from the start.
nobody liked you two together. not your parents, nor his; not his brothers, nor your friends. the whole world seemed to be intent on wedging itself between you both. you often asked yourself why. you were a good student, and he was trying his best. he played sports, and you were the secretary of the literature club. he never kept you out late (except for the nights when he snuck through your window, which was most). you did everything right.
matt's brothers told him every day that you weren't the right fit. they picked apart the secondhand clothes you wore, the gothic books you read, the psychologically challenging movies you loved- all without ever trying to understand why matt didn't care about those things. matt loved your opposite taste because it showed him new perspectives. he closely envied your brain and how it worked and what beauty it could find in things he would never look at to begin with- it was one of the things that made him fall in love with you. but his fellow creatures of habit, his we-never-leave-the-neighborhood type of brothers, they could never understand why he'd want to adventure outside of what's comfortable with you. you knew he took his brother's opinion for scripture, but you'd hoped he could look beyond their scrutiny. clearly, he couldn't. the wounds were still fresh...

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"i can't do this anymore," matt spat.

"but i thought we talked about this! who gives a fuck what people think?"

"it's too much pressure! everyone's got their eyes on me all the fuckin' time, judging me, telling me i'm making a mistake, it- it's like i can't fucking breathe! i can't live like that!"

you could feel your lip shaking, but that was nothing compared to the tears brimming in your eyes. "but i thought we were gonna push through it, matty,"

"i- i just... fuck,," matt groaned, rubbing at his face in frustration. "i just can't anymore. i need some time. i need a break."

"a break?"

"from us."

you held back a sob, because you knew more tears would only humiliate you further. matt didn't reach across the glove compartment to console you. he could barely even look at you. you were helpless in the passenger side of his car, sitting in your own driveway, getting dumped by the only boy you've ever loved.

"okay," was all you could muster. you knew it should've been an i need you to stay, or a we can work this out, or even a please don't leave me, i love you, but you said nothing of the sort. you simply surrendered, since the thought of making him feel worse only made you miserable- even in a breakup.

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