Purple Ink (SatoGou)

Chapter 6

Over the next few months, Red and I established some ground rules. Flirting became common, and we'd stay up late into the night, emailing back and forth, the conversations sometimes bordering on very suggestive. I held back, not wanting to get my hopes up too much, but sometimes it was easy to forget the situation. Forget that we weren't dating. Because we acted like we were, but we couldn't make that decision when we hadn't met yet.

I was glad that at least one of us was sensible, because if it were up to me, I'd have asked her, just to ensure she didn't meet someone else. I knew that was selfish, though. I couldn't ask her to hold back because of me. I knew that I just had to pray that luck was on my side, and she decided to stick with me. I prayed that no one better would come along.

On my eighteenth birthday, Dawn dragged me out to celebrate. Most of my friends were already eighteen, so we went to bars around our town, annoying locals with our terrible karaoke and raucous laughing. We found a bar where dancing on the tables was encouraged, and Dawn stuck several coins in the jukebox, selecting the most annoying, upbeat music she could find. She dragged me up onto the table and made me dance until I was exhausted. When all the bars closed we headed down to the park, all drunk but happy. We pushed each other on the swings and chased each other around, until we were all too tired to carry on. I walked Dawn home, and at her drive she suddenly threw her arms around me and started sobbing against my neck. When I asked her what was wrong, she admitted that she was scared. She was scared of us all separating. She wanted to stay the way we were then, forever.

I understood. Part of me was excited to head off to a new place. I hadn't lost the bubbly personality and desire to always make new friends. But I also loved my friends there. I didn't know what I was going to do without them. Especially Dawn. I told her that, and I told her that no matter the time, or day, or place, she could call me if she needed anything. I told her that when we were home for breaks, I'd not leave her side, if that's what she wanted. I let her cry until she was out of tears, and sniffed, hiccuping. I laughed at her, and she hissed at me, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She said goodnight, kissed me on the cheek, and headed inside.

On the walk back to my house, I pulled my phone out. It was almost half one in the morning, so I didn't expect Red to be up. I had spent most of the night avoiding looking at my phone, because I knew if I started a conversation with Red I wouldn't be wholly present with my friends, and I wasn't sure how many nights like that I'd have left with them. I had told her where I was going, and she had told me to have a great time, then hadn't emailed me since. I had promised myself that I wouldn't touch my phone once I was drunk, but staring down at her last email, it was just too tempting. The world was spinning a little around me as I paused on the sidewalk to write to her.

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Heyyyyyy you, I'm on my way home now. You're probably asleep but I wanted to tell you that anyway.

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I hurried the rest of the way home. I stumbled into my house, trying not to make too much noise but failing. I held on tightly to the handrail as I walked upstairs, trying to keep my balance. I paused in the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My mind was racing in my drunken state. I couldn't help but stare into my own eyes and wonder if Red would be interested when she finally saw me. I disassociated for a few minutes, until my phone buzzed in my pocket, and I jerked back to reality.

I hurried into my room, pulling my t-shirt over my head and kicking off my pants. I fell into bed and looked up at my phone, the screen dazzlingly bright in the dark.

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Hello to you, too. I missed you. I'm not asleep.

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