✎ to you, who swallowed a star 「 ed•v 」

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𝖓𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖚𝖗 𝖎𝖓 𝖛𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖒.

•••

"What are we?"

V was a terrifying being to make someone as confident and as self-assured as Khun Eduan doubt like this. Basking in the brunet's sincerity made him feel like the Tower wasn't such an irredeemable hell, and his smile a drug he'd gladly overdose with.

If that was how V's kindness felt, imagine how his love could have felt like?

"What kind of question is that?" He answered with an obviously shaken tone just as he avoided the bluenet's gaze, redirecting it towards the midnight blue waters, a same color as the night sky. "Aren't we friends?"

Friends. If this was the sound of his heart breaking, then he would rather his enemies rip it apart before the fact could sink in and change his life forever. Heartbreak was definitely not one of the things he signed up for when he was chosen by the Tower.

"Friends don't kiss back when the other pounces on them, V." The latter teased, hopeful when the man flinched, his legs stopped making ripples on the ocean. "Nor do they embrace and seek each other's presence like we do."

Yet, perhaps he was also reading into his actions too much again and deluded himself with the wrong ideas. There is a thin silver lining between compassion and pity, and V might have just been accommodating his not-so hidden feelings all these years to avoid hurting him.

"I'm sorry."

"Eduan..." V's voice wavered, the rest of the sentence completely forgotten.

"I apologize for kissing you without your consent. That was too much, wasn't it? However," Eduan's head lifted, electric blue eyes shining with a blazing fervor clashing with amaranthine. "I will not apologize for confessing. I don't regret loving you, but I do not wish for you to force yourself into reciprocating my feelings either."

Perhaps there was truth in the saying that sometimes, the most ruthless gift one can give to someone else was their kindness. 'So, before this emotion morphs into an unhealthy obsession, I wanted to know if my place beside you isn't just a fever dream.'

"I love you too! Believe me, I do! But-" 'Arlene.' Even in romance, Khun Eduan was still plagued with the terrifying fact that he could never usurp that woman's place in V's life. Maybe this was karma for all the horrid things he did whenever he wasnʼt around enough to calm his demons down. But shit, he was human too. And this was the first time Eduan felt this much that every move V made became the axis that kept his world spinning.

"But," the spearbearer grinned weakly, as if every breath he took pierced his lungs. "Your world cannot revolve around me."

"I'm sorry..." Tears trickled down V's dainty cheeks, and Eduan was almost too close to regretting ever recognizing these troublesome emotions. If it made V feel so conflicted, then perhaps love was not so worth pursuing after all. "I'm so sorry..."

'Don't be sad.'

"It's alright." The bluenet sighed, exasperatedly so. Pulling the smaller in an embrace as the former rested his chin on the crown of the brunet's head with the latter's hands around his waist tightening as his sobs grew louder. "Come on, I'm supposed to be the one crying between the two of us. Why are you like this?"

'Don't cry for me.'

"B-Because... uwaaahhh!" V's shoulders shook vigorously, and Eduan could only comfort him the only way he can- drawing small circles on his back, whispering soothing words in hushed tones. "Can't you stop being considerate of me?"