Hunting the Fairy Tale

Chapter 110 - It's a Date

Devan

"It's not a date, date... it's just a date-like date," Becca is telling Ryan and Beth, and just like that, I'm no longer the most confused person in the room anymore.

I don't mind that I've lost my long-standing title, but I thought this was a real date, and I don't like hearing that it's not one. At least I know what she's trying to say; on the other hand, our friends are just frowning at her, trying to make sense of her garbage.

"Well, we're your friends, and we would like to be each other's friends too, so... it's a friendly date."

"Hmm," Beth says. "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard."

"Makes sense to me," Ryan says at the same time, speaking in chorus with his wife. Just, you know, the chorus of a different song and now they're blinking at each other, and I'm just sighing, adjusting Frankie's position so that he is not stepping on my face anymore. He is now sitting nice and firmly on my head instead, with his feet on my shoulders. The boy has perfected the art of people climbing, but he still sometimes loses his way a little, and then I end up with a toe or two up my nose.

I'm making faces at Becca, but she is doing her best to avoid looking at me, her cheeks turning redder and redder by the second because she knows I'm making faces at her. What she's trying to tell our friends is not exactly a lie, but it is not very accurate either. I'll let her get away with it for now.

At the end of the last Call of Duty campaign, we played with Ash and Paisley (them downstairs and us up here), Ryan migrated from the floor to the couch to be his wife's pillow, and I crawled onto a bean bag to be their son's jungle gym.

I tried to be subtle about the whole date thing and told them that I'm taking Becca to show her something. Having Beth in the mix, the conversation unravelled into a completely disturbing shitstorm, which had Ryan tickling her to stop her from talking and Becca alternately giggling, glaring and beating her with cushions.

And that is how we got to the point where Becca clarified the matter using no clarity at all.

"Well, I don't care if it's a friendly date or not. I'm all for the idea of Dev showing Becca any of his things he wants to," Beth says, giving Ryan an innocent look when he glares at her.

"I'm trying to do the direct opposite tonight," I say, and now Ryan is glaring at me.

"What do you mean by 'tonight'?" And now I feel like a schoolboy meeting his girlfriend's dad for the first time, trying to convince the man that I'm not a raving hormone ball. I'm tempted to define the word 'tonight' even though I know that is not what Ryan is asking.

"I don't want to be in this conversation anymore," I groan and am relieved when Becca backs me up.

"Neither do I. I'm going to go get dressed," she declares, rising from the recliner she'd been sitting in and leaving the cosy living room, also known as the tribunal chamber, to cross the hallway leading to her bedroom.

"She was naked this whole time, and I missed it?" I mean, that's a logical conclusion, isn't it? I don't know why Ryan just risked his wife's position on the couch to punch me in the ribs. I collapse on the beanbag as if he'd punctured me, and his giggling son sees that as the perfect opportunity to make a dive for my stomach, nearly heading me in the groin in the process. Seriously, are the two of them trying to kill me now? They seem to be in sync.

"Dev," Ryan is saying in that tone of voice of his that always makes me feel like a teenage delinquent out to score beer and wild girls. I'm never that guy... anymore...

"Ry," I sit up, hoisting Frankie back onto my head because I'm not enjoying his current explorations so much, and Beth is going to roll off the couch or make a puddle, giggling at my discomfort while dealing with Dora the Explorer. Frankie the Fortune Seeker... Dungeon Diver Drake... Jewel Inspector Junior...