Frozen

58 2 1
                                    

⚠️WARNING⚠️ SH, SUICIDE, ALCOHOL, DRUGS, PERSON PASSING, ABUSE⚠️

Amelia's pov:

I freeze.

All i do is freeze. I don't move, i can't move. It's like something has taken over over my body and just pressed paused.

Bella fucking Ramsey is in my house.

Fuck FUCK. My fucking Arms. There's still fresh cuts from 2 days ago. Only my Bsf Jack knows about it. Only because i forgot to wear a jumper and he saw them. He physically became my therapist after that.

He hasn't seen these ones yet as i had hid them from him. My mind was a mess from just waking up and stupid me didn't think to put a jumper on.

I have never told my sister about them. I am very good at hiding it since i have been doing it since the age of 12. But when my mother passed it got worse. I was 16. I become an alcoholic. I became addicted to drugs and cigarettes. I still smoke cigarettes and sometimes weed if i'm having a really shit day. But i became a really violent person.

Then one day something clicked inside of me like i just got a light bulb above my head. Something inside of me said 'Mother wouldn't want this.' And ever since that day i stopped.

I just stopped everything.

The drugs the alcohol and the violence inside of me calmed. I tried quitting cigarettes but that didn't work so i stayed on them and till this day i haven't stopped. I'm not like them people who needs one every second of every day. I have about 3-4 a day maybe less even.

My mother was a beautiful human being. She was the best. She was caring, independent unlike my dad. He use to abuse me and my sister. He is another story for another time. She was bold always wanting to put herself out there, like me. I look like her a lot unlike my sister she looks more like my dad. My mother didn't care what other people said as long as she was happy doing what she loved and being around the people she loves.

After she passed everything went down hill. My best friend, Jack. He tried everything in his will to try and to stop me from the alcohol and drugs. It didn't work. His mother, Joanne. She is like a second mum to me. After my mum died, she tried to help me through it but nothing worked. Even my sister tried but nothing.

Everyone tried to save me. Nobody helped. It just made it worse as the years went by. I tried overdosing. Didn't work. Tried again. Still didn't work.

But that voice in my head helped me. Helped me get better. Helped me be me again.

My mother always loved the thought of me becoming an actor. But my dad never liked it. He wanted me to become a doctor or lawyer so i could earn big money. But i always ignored him and carried on what i love to do best for my mother.

When i first OD my father and sister was in the house. When they found me, they called an ambulance and i was in hospital for days. I finally recovered but 2 days after i tried again. But this time nobody was in the house. My best friend Jack found me. It hurt me to see him hurt so i didn't try again. And when my sister found out she made me move in with her back in Manchester. Then the prices went up so we moved to Leister.

Okay so this took a very dark turn and i'm sorry about that. Anyways.

"Amelia this is my new friend Bella." Elise says with a big smile on her face. It was an actual genuine smile that i hadn't seen in a while. "Hi i'm Bella, wait i swear i know you." She said. Oh shit i can't do this today. My sister knew who Bella was. She knew i have liked Bella since the age of like 13 or something. "Erm i don't think so, JACK COME HERE AND BRING ME MY JACKET!" I scream trying to hide the cuts on my arms. Jack comes running in and sees that i'm hiding my arms. He throws me the jacket and i quickly put it on.

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