online love. | taennie

40

- [logged in as jennierubyjane — saturday, 9:05 pm] -

- [thv] -

thv
are you ok?
i woke up and u were gone
where are u?

- [sunday, 4:12 am] -

- [lalalalisa_m] -

lalalalisa_m
hey
u wanna talk about what happened?

jennierubyjane
idk

lalalalisa_m
did he hurt you?
i have to know if you're ok

jennierubyjane
he didn't hurt me
everything we did was consensual

lalalalisa_m
consensual??????
....
wait
don't tell me..

jennierubyjane
it was a mistake
i never should've said yes

lalalalisa_m
jennie....

jennierubyjane
i don't even regret it either
that's the worst part
he was hurting and he needed a warm body and i was there
i let him use me, and i'm ok with it
god i fucking hate myself

lalalalisa_m
no
don't say that
it's his fault

jennierubyjane
but i said yes
and i liked it too
they were all right about me.

lalalalisa_m
shut the fuck up
don't talk like that
all those losers online, they don't know what they're talking about
you are the kindest, smartest, most talented and most beautiful person i've ever met
i love you to hell and back
so what if you like a good fuck? is that illegal?
guys do it all the time, but do you see those fucking stalkerish accounts dragging tae?

jennierubyjane
that's not the point

lalalalisa_m
then what is the point?

jennierubyjane
i did exactly what they all said i've been doing, and tae has the exact motivations for it as they said he would
i'm just that stupid slut that he uses for his own pleasure

lalalalisa_m
those idiots don't know what they're talking about
i hate tae's guts but
he made you happy for a while and i know he loved you, or something close to it
don't even try to argue with me about it, i know it's true
just talk to him
it might not all be what you think

jennierubyjane
but what would i say?
"hey sorry for bailing on you last night and not answering your texts or your calls or your dms, it's just that i know that you used me to get over ur ex who happens to be a best friend of yours and mine and you just made all the accusations those asshats on the internet say about me true and now i'm just another one of those people you pick up at the club just to fuck every other night but the thing is i'm in love with you and this kinda fucking broke my heart and i never want to see you again but i'm kind of okay with you using me as long as i get to be close to you at the same time, does that make me insane?"

lalalalisa_m
jesus fucking christ jennie

jennierubyjane
i hate this

lalalalisa_m
so what's ur plan? just keep ignoring him and hope you get over it?

jennierubyjane
honestly?
yeah.

lalalalisa_m
jennie talking to him can't be that bad

jennierubyjane
i already know what he'll say
i don't want to get hurt
i don't want to be just another tally on someone's list of bodies or some kind of guilty pleasure

lalalalisa_m
i get that.

jennierubyjane
?
what happened?

lalalalisa_m
what?

jennierubyjane
you say that like that's happened before

lalalalisa_m
idk
there's just this girl i like
can't tell her though
i think she's in love with someone else

jennierubyjane
how do you know for sure?

lalalalisa_m
just the way she talks about him.
i mean she basically confessed to me that she liked him

jennierubyjane
i'm sorry
that sucks
she doesn't deserve you anyway

lalalalisa_m
don't say that
i think she's the most beautiful girl in the world

jennierubyjane
there are probably so many girls like her out there

lalalalisa_m
i don't want another girl like her.
she's everything
i think i'll always love her

jennierubyjane
do i know her?

lalalalisa_m
yeah.

jennierubyjane
what's her name?

lalalalisa_m
can't tell you
it's a secret
we got off track
this is about you anyway

jennierubyjane
i don't want it to be
i wish i never said yes
i wish jimin never told me

lalalalisa_m
he's the one who told you?

jennierubyjane
yeah

lalalalisa_m
that bitch.
but you deserved to know the truth
and now you have a choice

jennierubyjane
a choice in what?

lalalalisa_m
what you and tae do now.