Two Lost Souls (GI)

Chapter 4

Xiao POV:

I save people all the time, I'm an adeptus. To protect the people of Liyue is my only purpose. The only reason for my creation. I need not be thanked. But somehow this time, it was different. Usually people who I save have a hunch, a feeling that I'm not human. It makes sense because I'm not but, when they know that I'm an adeptus they have a strange fear of me. Maybe it's admiration, however, I can never bring myself to be happy about being a Yaksha. I know my purpose in life which is more than most humans know. My purpose is nothing but to kill the monsters that attack the land of Liyue. I don't want to fulfill my purpose but... if i don't, wont my fellow yakshas, who've perished across the millennia of our existence, wont their sacrifices be for naught?

People don't thank me when I save them, I've come to expect nothing in return. This girl can barely breathe yet she writes a letter to thank me? How stupid can you be? I don't care about this letter, it's just the time she took to write it that makes me appreciate it, in reality it's nothing special at all.

This girl probably doesn't even know what an adeptus is, let alone a yaksha so... she's only treating me as if I were a human, a fellow adventurer. I wonder how she ended up there, I wonder what that ruin guard was doing when I saw it holding her.

I really can't get her off my mind. I need to focus on my job, my purpose but... I'm distracted. I know better than most not to ask too many questions, reality is harsh, reality is pain. I can't let myself get distracted lest I succumb to the overwhelming karmic debt. I have to live on as long as I can, for rex lapis and the people of Liyue.

I feel like I'm becoming weak, I can't... I won't let myself get distracted over one weird coincidence with a random adventurer.

I go to the balcony atop of the wangshu inn, looking down as the night envelopes the land. You can see the stars but it seems rainclouds will close in across the white crescent moon. I can't help but feel relaxed as I listen to the faint water moving, as I watch the grass sway peacefully in the breezing wind. I feel at peace. All of my worries can fade away and I can slowly start to understand my surroundings.

I have to act as if I have no emotions, it's the way things were meant to be. In reality, it would be impossible for me to not feel lonely. I need someone to care for me but... If I find a human, i'll only get even more lonely on the eventual day of their death. There's no cure to have an eternal life, even though there are those who choose to look for one. In reality, being immortal is nothing but a curse, it will only ever cause you pain. Knowing you can never be like those humans, living their lives to the fullest. Their short lives... even if they see you as a savior, a god-like figure, they'll never see you as one of them. Humans are pitiful, the immortal are pitiful. I am pitiful. Maybe living itself is a curse.

All I know is that I have to protect my nation, those little pitiful creatures that we call human, the beautiful scenery that puts me to rest. It's my duty.

A/n: shorter than usual but I hope you forgive me because I tried really hard with his emo poetry ;)