I Can't Lose You | Walking Dead Fan-Fiction [Violet x Clementine]

Chapter 16: You're Not Ready

Everything was so dark. Is this it? Am I dead? After all that fighting and everything I put AJ through. After all the sacrifice and the hardship, is this really how I'm gonna die? I tried to open my eyes, but they felt so heavy. Everything felt so heavy. I could hear what sounded like, a train? It sounded like a train speeding along the tracks. Finally my vision started to return to me, the sight of the trees flying by and the sunlight shining down on me. I sat up and rubbed my head while looking down to see both of my legs intact and untouched. Was it all a dream? Is this a dream? "Didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon." That voice. I know that voice. It couldn't possibly be him though. It couldn't be. I quickly spin around and my eyes scan the figure standing in front of me. "Lee."

He smiled down at me before walking over and holding his hand out as an offer to help me to my feet. He looked just like he did before he was bitten. The same blue shirt and pants, the same muscular build, the same beard and short haircut. It really was him, it was Lee. Once he helped me to my feet, I practically tackled him into a hug. "What's going on? Where am I? Am I dead? Aren't you supposed to be dead?" I had a million questions in need of answers, everything was so confusing. "Woah woah, easy there. Even now you have so much energy." Lee said with a soft smile as he pulled away from the hug and looked down at me. He kept both his hands on my shoulders as he looked at me. "Just look at you. You got so big..." Hearing him say that was enough to make the tears already forming finally spill. "I've missed you so much.." I whimpered, moving to hug him once again. I didn't want to let him go, not again. "I've missed you too, Sweetpea." I missed hearing that nickname from him. I've missed everything about him.

When I did finally let him go, the two of us moved to sit on the edge of the train car. Our legs were hanging over the edge as we rode down the tracks. I ended up kicking my legs like I used to when we rode the train back when I was little. "I've been watching you Clem. I am so proud of you. Your parents are too. You've always been such a fighter, and you've been teaching that boy of yours well." Lee said as he gave me a gentle pat on the back. "Yeah well, I've always had a great teacher." I looked up at him and smiled softly, but the smile faded once I remembered how I got here to begin with. "Lee, am I dead..?" Lee went quiet at my question, turning his gaze back out towards the horizon. I was afraid of the answer. On one hand, finally being free of having to struggle to survive and having to constantly be afraid was so relieving. But on the other hand, I didn't want to leave AJ and Violet behind. I didn't want to leave all my friends behind to survive without me.

Lee finally let out a long sigh he seemed to be holding in. "You're not ready." He said simply, before looking over at me once again. "Clem, I've watched you grow from the little girl you once were to the brave strong person you are today. I've seen you make friends and lose them, I've seen you persevere despite every obstacle thrown at you. I've seen you take on challenges you weren't ready for with little to no hesitation at all." He brought his hand up, gently lifting my head by the chin to look up at him. "I see so much of myself in you Clementine. I could not be more proud of the fighter you've grown to be." Hearing all of this from Lee felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had always been afraid of what he would think of me now and the choices I've made. Would he be proud or would he be disappointed? I've always spent my life asking myself 'What would Lee do?' whenever I found us caught in a difficult situation. "Those kids need you Clementine. They need you to be the leader they know you can be."

I brought my hand up to wipe my tears away, letting out a sniffle and clearing my throat. "Everything I've ever done, has always been because of you. Everything that I am is because of you. You were the father I needed when I had no one else." I looked up at him, my voice cracking the more I spoke. "I love you, Lee." I whimpered out, finally breaking down crying. It felt like everything I had been keeping in all these years just came spilling out all at once. Lee didn't say anything for a moment, he just pulled me into his lap and held me tight. "I love you too, Sweetpea." Lee said softly, his voice so calming and reassuring. Part of me didn't want to leave. Part of me wanted to just stay here with him and go back to see my parents. I could see Kenny and his family again. I could play with Duck while Katjaa and Kenny had some time to themselves. I could see Rebecca and Alvin, tell them all about AJ and what a fine man he's grown to be. I could see Luke again, I miss how playful and optimistic he always was about everything. I could see Carly too, I always thought her and Lee would've been cute together. They did have a lot of chemistry. It would be nice to see everyone again, it would be nice to be able to just finally relax.

"I know what you're thinking Clem." Lee's voice interrupted my thoughts. He looked down at me with that look, that same one he always had when he was about to scold me or tell me something important. "I know you miss everyone, and I know you want to finally be able to stop fighting. But I taught you better than to quit Clementine. You've always been a fighter. You need to go back and help your friends. You need to be that fighter for them." He reached up and fixed my hat, before patting the top of my head. "You're not ready yet. You still have so much fight left in you. You still have so much more you can give." It was bittersweet hearing him say this, but I know he's right. I can't give up just yet. The kids at the school still need me, AJ and Violet still need me. I need to go back for them. "Will I see you again?" I ask softly, looking up at Lee with a hopeful feeling in my chest. "Of course you will. I promise you that Sweetpea. We will be together again eventually." He brought his hand from the top of my head to overtop of my heart. "I will always be with you Clementine. Right here. I'll be watching over you and keeping you safe, just like I've always done. So you go back down there and you just keep being you. Keep making me proud." I smiled at this, feeling that warm feeling in my chest flourish.

"I will Lee. I promise."