the silver lining playbook// a. irwin

chapter twenty-four

I understood why Ashton needed to be alone. Frankly, I wanted to do the same myself. But someone needed to be strong. And that was me.

Ash had been locked in his room since we got back. He didn't want absolutely anything but his peaceful solitude.

At first, I would have been so happy with Ashton's mistake. That would mean that I could work with super hot guys and not some bossy douche. But now, I just wanted to work with Ashton.

Though, I had no clue why he was so upset. I mean I understand we wouldn't be working together, but then we could still date out of work. Whilst I was a little upset, I didn't understand.

For the tenth time tonight, I knocked on the door of Ashton and I's room. "Hey, you ok?"

There was no answer, only still silence and the sound of my breathing. This worried me. What if he had ran away. What if he didn't want me anymore.

I pushed open the door, setting aside any boundaries that I, myself, would have set. But as the door swing open I was yet to realize that there was absolutely no one in the room.

Had I been waiting for someone that wasn't even there?

But as I stepped into the room, I looked everywhere in hopes of finding someone or something. Anything. However, I don't know how I didn't think of it before. Ashton was in the balcony.

I stepped outside with him and he just looked at me for a brief second, and then looked away, staring back into the city. Closing the sliding door behind me, I placed my hand on Ashton's back, "Hey."

"Please don't, just-" Ashton tried to speak, but he trailed off, seemingly more distant as each second passed, "please leave me alone."

"No, I refuse," I told him, taking my hand off if him and standing next to him, arms crossed across my chest, "Ashton, I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't be either."

"Shouldn't be mad at who? You or myself?" Ashton asked, trying to avoid all eye contact with me.

"Neither," I simply spoke, looking at his defined profile, "it's ok that you agreed, I really don't mind."

"No, you should, because now you can be with Niall and just marry him and have beautiful Irish babies," Ashton spoke a little too loudly.

"Niall?" I scoffed, my tome of voice meeting his. "You're just talking shit now."

"I know I am," Ashton yelled, finally turning to face me. He was a mess. His face could speak a thousand words to let me know how he felt and He wouldn't even have to speak. His voice was now soft as cotton. "I'm sorry. I feel like a fucking failure right now."

"You shouldn't, though," I told him, matching his voice. Placing my hands on the sides of his face, I continued, "I'm sure they won't fire me for dating you."

Ashton averted his gaze to a chair behind me, "That's not it."

"Then what the hell is it, Ashton?" I asked, turning his face so that he could look at me.

"You wouldn't understand," he said roughly.

I kept my tone low and my head raised high, "Try me."

"We can't be together if you stay working in Baltimore," Ashton spoke loudly, his voice so loud that it left a ringing in my ear, "because I'm not gonna be there for you."

"Yes, you will. We will see each other so much. Hey, we can meet up for lunch an-" I began to ramble, my hands no longer on his face and my gaze dropping onto the ground. My mind raced with different things Ashton and I could do to stay together.

After that, Ashton interrupted me. He interrupted me with a statement that was difficult for me to hear and understand. "For fuck's sake, Layla. I'm leaving."

"Well, we know that much," Yelling wasn't my thing. But this was a topic definitely worth screaming about. Tears began to form in my eyes.

"I'm moving, Layla. Could you ever understand that?" Ashton tried to reason with me, but his loud voice was hard to keep up with.

"Moving offices? I understand that," I tried to smile as f the tears would stop if I pretended to be happy, "Baltimore could be really small if we look at it a certain way."

"I'm moving back to Australia," Ashton finally blurted out.

My breath hitched in my throat and the room began to spin so fast that I could barely keep up with where I was standing. I had been officially been tied down to Baltimore and Ashton was letting go of it.

It was a surprise in itself that Ashton would even think of dating me. But now, not even a day has gone by after he asked me the question and we're already fighting.

Maybe he wasn't worth it.

"I'm sorry, Layla," he whispered, coming closer and nesting his head in the crook of my neck as he held me close.

I couldn't hold him back because I knew that if I did, I would get attached. And that wasn't something I could afford.

But I embraced him anyway. And the sigh of relief he let out once my arms were around his torso was absolutely heart-warming.

"I don't want to let you go, Layla. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew it from the moment I saw you."

--/--

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

ILL MAKE IT UP I SWEAR

SORRY

NEXT CHAPTER WE HAVE A FLASHBACK OOH

ILY ALL

xoxo gossip girl