Love, Eternal - A Destiel Fanfic

~Chapter Five - Well That Didn't Work~

I managed to leave before Dean awoke the next morning. I saw him later that day though.

"Why'd you leave before I woke up?" Dean asked. And to that, I didn't know why. I could've gotten up and gone to sit in a chair and pretend I was there all night. "I-I don't remember...I-I guess...I am just...used to it!" I am a bad liar. He made intense eye contact and usually, I would respond with one of my cold stares, but under his gaze I crumbled, was this part of my little crush? I became what humans describe as flustered and looked away, I assume Dean realised something wasn't right with me because he seemed to move to me cautiously calling my name. For some reason, I couldn't focus on him or his voice until my entire body shook. "CAS!?" Dean looked worried, shaking me. "Huh? Oh, Dean...I must've zoned out" I replied. "Jesus, Cas, you scared me" Dean huffed out a breath of air. "Sorry, Dean," I said.

All of a sudden, I got a text on my phone. I looked at my phone and excused myself. It was Sam.

Sam: Tell Dean I'll be gone for a little longer...also how's it going with him? Make any moves, yet?

Does Sam just want to know if I made any "moves"? I thought it was important, well, I guess him being gone longer is. "Hey, Dean. It's Sam, he wants you to know he'll be gone longer," I told Dean. "Okay, but why didn't he just text me?" Dean asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't know" I did know, he wanted to also ask if I had made progress in asking Dean out.

Cas: Dean said okay and no not really. I don't know what to do or how to approach it

Sam: I don't know...y'know how you analyse people's body language? Why don't you make your skill known and flirt w/ him?

Cas: Okay.

That should be simple. Just flirt by telling him everything I noticed. Okay...You can do this Cas! "Hello, Dean," I said as I sat beside him. "Heya, Cas!" He said with enthusiasm. "Y'know...you have gorgeous eyes," I said, feeling confident as I saw a small bit of blush creep onto his face. "Well, thank you, Cas," He smiled. "Yeah, the way they sparkle when the light hits them or when you are happy, the way they become dull when you are upset or in pain, the way they become piercing when you're angry" I started listing off what his eyes do with different emotions. "I-wow, Cas, you noticed that" His eyes glowed with admiration. I smiled. I chuckled, "I notice a lot of stuff," I said. " Oh, yeah? What else?" He challenged me. "Well, you furrow your eyebrows when you are confused or annoyed, you fake smile when in an uncomfortable situation, and your lips..." I trailed off and let my eyes shamelessly fall to his lips and back up to meet his eyes. He looked away and bit his lip. "You bite your lip when you are speechless" I leaned in and whispered. His eyes widened in shock. "I..." Here goes nothing "I...always wondered what they felt like, are they as soft as they look" I inched closer. "C-cas you know I am not gay" He awkwardly smiled. There it is suspicions were true. He would never like me. I felt my heart shatter, but I smiled. "I know...But I don't have a gender..." I said. "But your vessel is-" he motioned to my sex. I sighed, got up, and left.

I went back to my conversation with Sam before to tell him that Dean doesn't like me. I frowned at my phone but began typing with shaky fingers.

Cas: I tried it...he says he is not gay which is interesting because I am completely indifferent to sexual orientation and gender...

Sam: Oh, Cas I am sorry :(

Cas: I don't know what to do. I think I made things awkward, how do I fix this?

Sam: Apologise?

Cas: Okay...

I rubbed my face and felt wetness on my cheeks...Was I crying? I couldn't be. He didn't mean that much but then I got a wave of heartache and sadness. I cuddled in a ball and sobbed. I don't know why it hurt so much but it did.

Dean on the other hand felt guilt.

Why did I lie? I ruined my chances with him, I freaked out and told him I didn't but I do! What should I do? I had to call Sam and tell him...maybe he could help.

"Sammy!" I said. "Yes, Dean?" He said, sounding disappointed. "I messed up, man. I told Cas I didn't like him...truth is, is that I do" I said, quickly. "Dean, apologise, tell him how you feel," Sam said, sternly. "Yes, Mom," I said sarcastically. "Jerk," He said. "Bitch" I replied and hung up.

Sam was now left with a hard decision.

Should I tell Cas that Dean likes him? That would be betraying Dean's trust because Cas isn't one to keep his mouth shut. Dean would eventually find out, but Dean knows he likes him too all he needs to do is make the first move. I sighed, I hope they work out. They will work out. I smiled to myself.

Cas was still sobbing. He wished he hadn't made that move. He wished he wasn't going to lose Dean.

They talk about how love is such a nice feeling, but what about the heartbreak? I have this aching pain in my chest and all I want to do is cry. My sobbing turned into a helpless laugh. I chuckled at my stupidity "Well, that didn't work".