it only hurts this much right now ━✫ sebastian sallow

chapter 13

Forgiveness

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Sofiya stared in silence as Sebastian finished his story.

She couldn't believe it. Even more so, she couldn't believe herself.

She was feeling many things in an instant, but the most overwhelming of them all was heartbreak. Her heart was breaking, shattering into a million pieces as she heard all the efforts made last year to help Anne were in vain. The antidotes Sebastian searched for, the ordeal in the catacomb, and Solomon Sallow's death. Although she didn't know Anne very well, Sofiya felt as if she had lost her family.

Not only that but Sofiya's behavior these past few months. All of a sudden it dawned upon her that she was being incredibly selfish and immature. She barely gave a moment to let Sebastian explain himself, and although he struggled, she didn't think for a second to let him take his time – especially if it was to speak of the death of his twin sister. She ignored him, was cold to him, and insulted him. She was cruel. She was ignorant.

She stared blankly at Sebastian, so overwhelmed with sadness that her mouth hung open uselessly as she searched for the right words to say. However, nothing she thought of seemed enough to suffice for the pain she had contributed to, if not caused.

"Sebastian, I..." She gasped, "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's alright, truly. I've had a lot of time to... Think." He simply nodded as a pained smile forced its way onto his features, "It was only fair for you to be upset when you didn't have the full picture. I was the one who never explained myself, after all."

"No, no-" Sofiya frantically shook her head, "I was the one who didn't listen. I was so stuck in my own mind that I didn't even think of a good reason for you not to respond. I was so afraid of getting hurt, I only hurt myself–"

"Sofiya."

Sebastian placed his freckled hands on Sofiya's shoulders, firmly but gently holding her frame.

"I forgave you long ago." He gave her another slight smile.

Sofiya fell into silence once more as her heart pounded and her hands shook. His hazel eyes stared deeply into hers, though it didn't soothe her. She was too overwhelmed with guilt and shame to feel any kind of tranquility right now.

"And Anne..." Sofiya felt her throat slowly close with every word, "Sebastian I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. I enjoyed every last moment I had with her." He said, his voice beginning to tremble and his eyes watering. Sofiya began to tear up just at the sight of him.

Before she could say another word, a choked sob came from Sofiya's throat. She immediately looked to the ground in an attempt to hide herself as the tears started falling. Everything came crashing down all at once and within seconds the pain she had been feeling since the year started surfaced in her ocean of tears.

And Sebastian immediately consoled her.

He pulled Sofiya into his chest as if it was instinct. In a moment, Sofiya felt the fabric over his chest press against her cheek and his firm arms wrapped around her back. She heard his quick heartbeat. His scent overwhelmed her — a hint of cologne, a smell of parchment, and sweat lingered on his body.

She didn't even know what to say, what to think. It was unfathomable to her that he was forgiving her so easily. Perhaps it was because she had just held a grudge against him over the smallest issue, yet after everything she had done to him, he was so willing to forgive. If she was in his position, she wouldn't know what to think.