broken halos {kai parker}

drive away

****

its the morning after

i have to break free from Kai's grip. we fell asleep on the couch after talking incoherently- well atleast i remember speaking about nonsense, i don't remember a specific topic. another thing i remember about last night was i felt surprisingly safe; it's crazy to think that i felt safe with him. it will be the first and the last time. i slide myself out of his arms and off the couch; falling to the floor. "Karma?"my eyes widen in panic. oh shit.

"um.. i'm going to take a shower." i lie through my teeth, and he hums in response. i sigh in relief; it worked. i hurry and make my way to my room.

first step in me being somewhat normal is getting rid of my magic, kai would probably end up only using me for my magic considering he doesn't have any himself. i need to find something to put it in, something i can easily carry... my keys to lola. Its way obvious, he cant think i'm this dumb-i am actually.

Storing the magic away has cleared my rage; made everything so much lighter. i dont have the constant anger making me eager to kill.. this is what my coven wanted, me not to have any magic at all. im doing this on my own terms but i'm going to have this nagging voice in the back of my head.

getting rid of my magic was for my own good- i reassure myself. it could possibly help me and Kai to be friends or actually get along. i dont want to our relationship to be so dysfunctional- it's just so unhealthy. not that i cared before about anything. i should just leave and take some time away from him. he might be the only other person in the world but i can't just stand around while he wrecks me- the prison itself is doing that. i'll just go back to my penthouse, everything will be okay.

KAI'S POV

being with karma has been such a rush; she makes me feel such strong feelings, i hate her but i appreciate her for so many reasons. i feel blessed that i don't have to continue my eternity in hell alone. she might not be the key to getting out but she will make the days go by faster. if i can help repair our relationship, this world might even feel like paradise.

i mentally scold myself, this is all so wrong. 

I hear a car engine start, my heart immediately drops. she is leaving? why would she leave? i won't let her. i run outside but the car isnt in the driveway any more. i run to grab the keys to the car that was left here in 1994. chasing after someone has always been fun, but this time i was chasing after her to stay and it made me feel so weak. 

Seeing her red corvette parked at the gas station makes me smile. i pull up and park right in front of hers, "and where do you think you're going?" i furrow my eyebrows and she looks like she couldn't care less about anything right now. 

"anywhere you are not." she leans on the side of her car waiting for her tank to fill. 

"c'mon, i thought we were having a moment back there." i nod my head in the direction of the house, Karma shakes her head trying to dismiss the conversation and she turns to take the gas pump out signifying shes ready to leave. "Karma, why are you doing this?" my voice sounds needy and desperate. i hate myself for doing this, i hate needing someone. 

"Kai, i just need a break from all these emotions. we are both short fused people and i hate when you watch me like i'm a goddamn firework." she crosses her arms making the cutest little pouty face. 

"when you're lit you are in all your glory. i love seeing you passionate enough to care about saying things that end up hurting me. i love watching your eyes, your body, everything about you just comes to life." i cup her face in my hands while moving closer to her, "i love watching your true colors." i kiss her lips, it takes her a bit to respond but soon enough she's kissing me back. deepening the kiss with a swipe of the tongue and a swift reposition of her hips. my hands are placed on the small of her back and the other squeezing her bum. 

"stop," her soft moans tell me otherwise. i push her -harder than i should've- against her corvette. breaking the kiss for a moment, she licks her lips and smiles, and that's when i grab the back of her neck and return back to kissing her. my hands wander across her body and my lips at jawline and down her neck, until i found that one spot where she made the smallest gasp, thought she could hide it with the rest of her breaths- she thought wrong. everything feels so natural with her. my hands slip under her shirt-which is actually one of mine. "Kai.." my lips connecting with her hers signifying her to shut up. thats when she pushes me away,"god dammit, kai. i said stop ages ago.." her words are muttered across her lips. 

"what is it?" 

"we shouldn't."

"and why not?" 

"we're us." 

"so?" 

"do you remember who we are? we would make one another suffer in more ways than one. we would burn out before we even got a chance to say we were in love. you can't unshorten my fuse and i cant melt your cold heart. we were built in society to be outcasted and thrown into the wind. we just happened to get tangled up right before separating." 

and that's all i needed to hear before pulling out plan b: sedative pen.

i will show you cold heart.