broken halos {kai parker}

Common ground

30 days later

KARMA'S POV

i wake up to the sun beaming in the windows and directly on my face. i groan deciding its time. i'm hungry anyways.. while the waffles cook, i pack a bowl and hitting it a few times before the waffles were done. i look around the room, i hate it here. i loved it when i first got here but now i just dont even want to look at this place. i should live in a different house. i walk outside finishing my bowl and deciding that it's time. i look around the neighborhood, i don't want to live in any of these houses. than it hits me- i need to go home.

i quickly pack my things up and place them in the back seat of my car. i drive to the seattle airport runway, but when i see the plane i think of france. i never considered france home; it was always more of a all you can eat buffet. home isn't france. home is new york, home is lola. the car that has been substituting for lola just doesn't fit like lola does.

***

"this is a message from your pilot, Karma Martin. will all passengers buckle their seats we will be landing in 15." i laugh, that is a mix of me being absolutely ridiculous and me being funny. either way i seem insane. i flip a few switches and pushing then pulling the yoke so i land somewhat smoothly.

soon my luggage is placed on the passenger seat of lola. "oh, how i missed you, lola." i hug the hood of my car. starting the engine my old mix plays and i smile at the good ol' days. the memories are increasingly vivid on the east coast. i cruise through the city, but the hole in my stomach convinces me that this isn't home either. the only other place to go is the boarding house. i stop at the gas station, should i bother to go back? if it's home, there is only one way to find out.

KAI'S POV

living in mystic falls has had a toll on me, the memories are painful but they keep me sober. i've been trying to keep myself busy. today is the day i sit on the couch all day and watch baywatch. while my popcorn is popping i hum to the tune of a pearl jam song, i slide across the floor in my socks a few times.

since i've been in here i haven't aged a day so why would i want to age mentally? i never had a true childhood with the way my parents treated me. so in here i can act as childish as i want and there is nobody telling me that i'm too old, when really there is no such thing.

***

i'm three episodes in when i hear another car engine outside, it is the beautiful sound of Karma's corvette. this is it. what do i do? my body fills with anxiety and i begin to feel nauseous. Everything after this seems to happen in slow motion, my heart slows to near death and the door opens revealing a clearly changed karma. This has to be different, i have to fix us.

"Karma."

"Kai." when we say eachothers names at the same time, she smiles hiding her slight embarrassment. "Mind if i stay here?"

"Not at all." i stand still, afraid to move, afraid that everything will crumble and i will soon wake up.

"Im gonna take my old room, if thats okay." i nod reassuring her that it is. this feels so unreal, its as if we weren't alone for the past five years- almost six. christmas is only a few weeks away, but it's hard to think of that when christmas came early.

Karma has disappeared off into the walls of this house and i'm left stunned - breathless.

KARMAS POV

Seeing kai sparks so many old emotions. the most important one is that i don't have to feel lonely, i feel so relieved. i might consider going in for a hug later, i know we have a inevitable talk awaiting for us. talking seems wrong in this situation.

I reenter the living room, where kai is pouring a drink. "mind pouring for me too?" I ask, making my way to the couch.

"Already did." he answers handing me a cup of scotch. i quickly take a drink and i savour the taste.

"I needed that." i let out a small laugh, allowing myself to loosen up.

"I suppose we need to talk," he is staring at the floor "im sorry for how i left things. i didn't really explain myself or my actions. i know i seem like a little bitch for running away." he looks at me seeing if he is making any kind of emotions come up, matter of fact i feel pity over a damaged soul like his. although i can't say that out loud because i know he could say the same for me.

"We were both left in our family's fire, and left to burn. metaphorically that is.. you definitely could've chosen some better ways to handle this-us and our situation. im done fighting, i just wanna live out my punishment in peace." i close my eyes, and the thought of never dying sends a stab like feeling in my chest, "and yes you did act like a little bitch, and i hope the guilt ate away at you these past years." my anger heats up my skin causing me to stand up readying myself to leave before this gets any worse.

"When you started to feel better, i was afraid that i was loosing my touch. i could've left you in the freezer, i could've been your friend, i could have done so many things. the possibilities make my skin crawl and my chest ache. that's what makes so afraid- i don't know this side of myself. you bring out all of my emotions, when i was raised without them." his voice increasingly got louder with more he spoke, he spoke with passion and hurt. this place has messed us up, emotionally more than physically. he stands up walking towards me and i don't move.

"I feel the same way about you." i whispered once he was close enough to hear. my eyes stay locked with his deep blue eyes. is it wrong to say i miss the icy eyes filled with hatred? It was easier to hate that guy, this guy who stands in front of me is entirely different. he is someone who wants to be loved- who is lonely, and mistreated. just as i am.