Starcrossed: A Star Wars Fanfiction

Promises...

I kept my promise, as you asked me to...Why did you never come back to keep yours?

The thought was only a subtle tremor in the Force.

But it was enough to turn Obi-Wan's attention back to his unlikely companion, as she kept pace with him through the corridors leading to the hospital wing.

Appearing unaware of how treacherously her thoughts betrayed her.

Indeed, there was a hidden tragedy hanging around Eris Constellan.

The same nature of anguish he'd sensed in Anakin on the day he rescued Shmi Skywalker from the Tusken Raiders.

That familiar shattering regret Obi-Wan had felt holding his dying master in his arms, wishing he had been a little faster to beat the timer on the blood-red Laser Gates before Darth Maul drove a lifesaver through his master's chest.

"Master, I...I'm so sorry for everything...for every time I-"

But whatever little time Obi-Wan had to reconcile with his master, whom he knew he had failed in so many ways, Qui-Gon's only concern in those last moments had been with Anakin.

"Obi-Wan, train the boy. He is the Chosen One. He will bring balance to the Force. Promise me... you will train him."

Master Qui-Gon had been so adamant about teaching Anakin, going so far as to suggest to the council that he train the boy himself, even while Obi-Wan had not yet stepped out from under Qui-Gon's wing. 

It was no exaggeration when Master Jinn announced before the council that Obi-Wan was ready for knighthood. 

Obi-Wan had already come to realize that his and his master's clashing views of the Jedi Order and its responsibilities to the galaxy had made his promotion from under Jinn even more predictable. 

But...even if it were only a small afterthought...hadn't Master Jinn had just once the slightest reservations or worries about sending his padawan learner off into the galaxy?

Despite their differing philosophies, hadn't he thought more of Obi-Wan in his dying moments? As a son, perhaps...even if only a prodigal one?

Had he ever, even in the smallest of measures...loved him like a son?

Obi-Wan knew it wasn't the Jedi way to ask such a thing of his master, but he couldn't help but notice how much more enthusiastic Master Jinn had been at the idea of taking on Anakin. 

How unaffected his master had appeared to be in trading Obi-Wan over for a new student.

And how sorry Obi-Wan had been knowing that unspoken truth, as he held his master in his last moments on Naboo. 

Though an unspoken triviality between them, both master and student knew that Qui-Gon had not taken Obi-Wan on as a padawan by choice. 

Obi-Wan had inadvertently forced that decision upon him.

And no matter how hard Obi-Wan worked to make sure his master never regretted that decision, Qui-Gon's last words were still only for Anakin.

'I kept my promise, as you asked me to, master,' Obi-Wan found his thinking aligned with Eris's, as he remembered Anakin's fall into the dark side. 'And I have failed you once again.' 

And then, recognizing the spiraling trap of darkness in his own thinking, Obi-Wan glanced at the Jeotian princess, finding it ever more peculiar that whenever she was with him, his mind innately wandered to the past. 

And what's more, always the pieces of it he'd spent hours in meditation trying to forget.

Why did her presence seem to invoke these distracting thoughts in him?