the rush of loving you

so this is the end

*Liv*

It was pouring rain when I arrived at Marc's house. It was like a damn movie. In that last scene when they were fighting for love.

I got out of the car when I could see his car. I was immediately soaked to the bone as I walked across the street.

I had been waiting for him. Alex had already been there, but he hadn't talked to me. I didn't know what Marc had told him. But it had hurt to see Alex with that look. He had looked at me as if I were the worst person he had ever seen. It had torn me apart.

Alex had never looked at me like that. I remembered how he had stood in front of me and looked at me gushing with joy when I had seen his victories. I remembered how often I had comforted him when he was feeling bad. And now he couldn't even look at me.

And Marc also turned away immediately when he saw me coming.

"Marc!", I shouted "Marc, please.", the rain punctuated my shouting.

But he ignored me

"There was nothing between Pierre and me. Yes, he kissed me, but I... I left. I was on my way to see you. Then he called me and I told him we were back together. He got mad. But he's my best friend. I had to talk to him! I had to... I had to fix this. And then he snapped and... Marc, please talk to me!"

He had arrived at the front door by now and was now stopping for the first time.

"It definitely sounded different when Max told me about you two, though," I could barely hear his voice through the rain.

"It wasn't like that, though. It wasn't like that. We were fighting because I was mad that he just kissed me and because he was mad that I... He was mad because I don't return his feelings and I can understand that, but... I don't love him. I never have and I never will. I've only ever loved you. For the last 11 years, only you. Even when we weren't together there was no one I loved as much as I loved you.".

The rain pelted down on me.

In the movies, now would have been the moment he turned around and came to me. But this was not a movie.

It wasn't a romance novel, either, or anything. It was life, and I could see him unlock the front door and disappear inside. I could hear the door slam.

"No, no Marc, please.", I knew about the intercom with camera that was at the gate. Whether he was listening to me though, I didn't know. I started to cry. I didn't know what to do. 

"Marc, please, fucking talk to me! I deserve this! I deserved this! I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't cheat on you! And you don't even listen to me?"

"You could have talked to me in Monaco," I heard his voice from the intercom.

"I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you what happened. When we wrote, I wanted to tell you. But not on the phone. I wanted to talk to you. Face to face. I wanted you to look at me. Because I was sure you believed me. Because I thought you trusted me.", I swallowed "Marc, I didn't kiss him. I didn't know what he was going to do. I really didn't know. If I had known, I wouldn't have even let it get that far.".

I leaned my head against the wall next to the intercom.

"All he talked about was how he was afraid he was going to lose me, that I was going somewhere he couldn't go. He was all shook up. I assured him that wasn't going to happen and..."

I thought back to the moment before the kiss. Had I given him a sign at some point that made him think I wanted him to kiss me?

Had I done or said anything all this time that made Pierre think I loved him too?