the rush of loving you

letting go

*Marc*

I kissed Liv like my life depended on it, and just as I was about to break the kiss to tell her that she really needed to stay awake and look at me, she slumped back all limp.

"No.", I gasped "No, no, Livy. Come on.", I pulled her back upright with my free hand, but her body just felt heavy and lifeless.

I still had my hand pressed tightly over hers.

"Livy, come on.", I pushed her chin up, but she immediately slumped back against Alex.

I could feel a slight pulse beat under my fingers. Or was it my own heart pumping blood through my body in a panic?

"WHY IS NO ONE HELPING US?", I was completely desperate. Panicked.

I couldn't watch Liv die and do nothing, could I? But I didn't know what to do. I couldn't help her, except to press the wound and hope that someone would come who knew better than I did.

I saw her chest still slowly rising and falling. It wasn't over yet. She was still there. I was more overwhelmed than I had ever been in my life.

This is how she must have felt whenever I had had an accident.

Helpless.

Desperate.

Suddenly, people came running and yanked Liv away from us. They lifted her onto a gurney, then started running. I heard sirens. I was aware of the chaos around us, but I couldn't move one bit. I just sat there looking at my brother, who looked as distraught as I felt.

"Is she going to die?" he gasped, looking at the floor where her blood was everywhere.

I followed his gaze and then looked at my hands, which were also completely covered in blood.

I shook my head "She's way too stubborn for that," I gulped.

Pierre next to me cried out in pain, then started to cry. I caught him as he slumped forward.

"It's all my fault.", I had never heard so much pain in one voice.

Max and Vic arrived next to us. They both stopped, completely horrified.

"Is that Liv's blood?" gasped Max "What happened?" tears immediately welled up in his eyes.

"Leyla. She wanted to kill me and Liv...", I swallowed.

Liv had stopped Leyla from killing me. If she didn't survive, it was on my account. Then she had traded her life for mine.

"I should never have brought Leyla here. I just... I wanted Liv to be mad. I wanted her to feel the way I felt. For her to feel the pain.", Pierre yelped miserably before burying his face against my shoulder.

"If I had never kissed her, if I had never fought with her...", I could feel his pain in his voice "Marc, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you guys were back together... And then I was so mad and I... It's all my fault.".

And I didn't have a word to comfort him, because somehow it was his fault. But it was also my fault.

If I had believed her, if I would never have doubted her... Maybe then the thing with Pierre would have worked itself out before he had gotten the stupid idea of bringing Leyla here to piss Liv off. Then Leyla would have attacked me first.

Then everything would have been different.

"Where... where is she now?" cried Victoria hysterically.

"The paramedics took her.", Alex said completely desperate "But she can't die. She won't die.", his voice and his whole body were shaking.