'god made us enemies bc he knew we'd be to dangerous together' // Ashtray x Kiah

Stuntin' Like My Daddy

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'it was the first day of school, and my heart was racing. i had made a new best friend and for the first time since getting out of rehab, i was feeling good about the world'

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it was the next day, Maddie, bb, Cassie, and i where walking down the outdoor hallway, i was gliding my hand down the lockers, shutting any open ones and occasionally slamming peoples fingers in their locker doors. "oh, shit, thats the girl who tried to commit suiside at McKays" bb says pointing behind her to where rue and a tall blonde girl were walking. "wait, what?" we all say confused, this is news for me and i guess Cassie and Maddie to. "oh yeah. i forgot. you guys both was both fuckin" bb starts, pointing to Maddie and Cassie. "while your ass was up in cloud 9" she finishes, pointing at me. "ughhh why does everyone think we fucked!?" Maddie paused in her tracks and groaned. 

"alcohol is not good for me" Maddie says as we continue walking. "word" i say looking down at my phone. "so you did fuck him" bb says with a smirk. "honestly i think i blacked out" everyone turns over to Maddie, confused and concerned"for real?" i say after Maddie finally gets my attention, slipping my phone into my pocket. "Maddie.." Cassie says looking disappointed. "hellooo" kat says walking up to us with her hands gripped onto her backpack straps. "oh, look! its our new sexspert!" bb says putting her hand over Kats shoulder, dragging her over to walk with us. "congratulations, bitch" Maddie says jumping over to hug kat. "welcome to the clubb" Cassie says joining into the hug. "sooo?" i say collapsing into the now group hug. "what?" kat giggles looking at me. "how does it feel to finally not be the only virgin in the group!" i reply smirking.

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'now, when kat told bb she lost her virginity to some dude whose name she didnt remember, she knew shed tell Maddie, kiah, and Cassie, and the rest of the fucking planet earth. but that was kind of the point. she was just relieved that it was no longer a thing.'

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"soo lets start with a little with a little improvisation. id like each of you to get up and tell us a five-minute story about your summer" mrs. Applegate states softly whilst scanning her eyes across the room to pick someone to go first. i just sit there with my AirPods in listening to 'fair trade (drake, travis scott). i wish i could block out the agitating voice of mrs assgate or whatever the fuck her name is. i look around to see half the class talking and smiling, whilst the other half bites their nails and curls up into balls, but one person catches my eyes. rue, she's sitting there obviously in withdraw whilst groaning and covering her face with her maroon hoodie trying to go unnoticed but the loudness of the groan was a dead give away that she was there. "looks like we have our first volunteer, rue" she starts, i look up at the teacher and then at rue. at that moment i just wanted to rip that smug look off mrs applegates face. "please dont do this to me" rue mutters slowly gets up, everyone could tell she didnt want to be there, and everyone, well almost everyone, knew what had happened to her over the summer. "come on everyone, lets give her a little encouragement" the teacher says walking off the stage whilst clapping her hands. everyone watches as rue slowly gets up and begins to speed walk over to the stage, the look on lexis and rues faces made me feel even more angry at the teacher. silence, silence was all you could hear as the lights go out and the white stage lights turn on directly at rue, everyones eyes on her.

"ah um..  a memory?" rue questions, her voice shaking. "anything that had had an impact on you this summer" mrs applegates explains. "uh, i dont.. i don- i cant think of anything" she replies looking down at the her feet whilst practically her whole body was shaking. "just relax your body. release the tension. and just breath" this cunt really thinks she's helping her out, rue is standing there up on stage, wayyy out of her comfort zone, looking like she's about to have a panic attack, and all this bitch says is 'breath'? this is so fucked. rue just stands there zoned out for the next couple minutes, nothing but light coughing echoing through the room. "so this.. this summer?" "yes" "i- im having trouble um like remembering uh something, you know" she stutters, her heart beating for what feels like 1000 beats per minute. "just tell us a specific memory" "umm ok uhh i was with my mom my uh my little sister and we where uh listening to this song.. i uh im sorry everybody but i cant think of anything so uh im uh, do i have to do this?" rue says, pausing after every word. there it was, the tears, the overwhelming thoughts rue was having whilst up there where to much. "honestly, i think its brain damage" a girl whispers as others give a small laugh. "your being fucking rude" lexi says turning her head over to the girls. rue walks off with her hood on and her head held low. "this is such bullshit! you think your so fucking good at your job huh? you think your helping people by pushing them out of their comfort zone? this is fucking ridiculous! all of you.. go fuck yourselves!" i shout standing up to go find rue. "miss kiah balencia! do not ever speak to me like that, and mind your language. go to the office, now." mrs applegate shouts, finally revealing whats under her gentle and soft voice. "YEAH MAYBE I WILL! AND IF I DO, YOU BEST KNOW THAT IM GOING TO GET YOUR ASS FIRED YOU BITCH" i shout, finally getting everything out. i storm off behind lexi, flipping her off and ignoring every other word that comes out of her mouth.