'god made us enemies bc he knew we'd be to dangerous together' // Ashtray x Kiah

The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed

'People are always telling me about great TV shows. How I just have to watch this show. But the truth is, I don't want good TV. I don't want a novel, or some slow burn, or anything that feels like work. That's why I love reality TV. It's funny, it's dramatic, and I can focus on it. It's pure, effortless entertainment.

...and realize I have watched 22 straight hours of Love Island over a two-day period and yearn for more. Some people may find that depressing.

I don't.

It is, however, a good way to measure depression. Because when reality TV begins to feel like work, like, the final season of Mad Men Work, you know you're depressed. Like, haven't got out of bed to pee in 24 hours depressed.'

___

"You cannot tell McKay" The girls and I are sitting at Howard's dining table.
"But it's not like I cheated-cheated" Cassie says worried "Kissing is worse. It's so much more intimate." Maddie advises "And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny." I add in
"Okay, but, I just don't want there to be something this bad between us forever." God Cassies stupid. "I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever." Kat buts in looking down at her phone "Kat, what the fuck is your problem?" I snap, raising my voice. "yeah, You're being a bad friend now. You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable." Maddie says pissed off.
"World Star!"
"Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times?" Ok Kats not wrong but she needs to be humbled.
"It was literally the lowest point in my life, so, yeah. That and the fact that you're just fuckin' mean."
"Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you talk about is yourself. Your clothes, your boyfriends, whatever superficial shit you think is so fucking important. Sorry I'm no longer interested."
"I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat." I say rolling my eyes
"You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a fuckin' cunt?" Maddie adds on
"Damn."

I leave the howards house before anything else happens because quite frankly, i couldn't care less. i walk to fez's house to help package some opiates and methamphetamine.

Ash and I sit across the table occasionally giving each other glares. "Look i don't know what happend and don't care but can yous stop actin like this" fez says from the kitchen to us. I roll my eyes and toss the wrapped up bag towards the pile and start on another one.

".. but no. Morgan is fucking hyper-focused.." ash and I hear rue talking from the other room. I groan. "What the fucks up with her?" i ask, breaking the silence between ash and i. "She been going on and on about Nate Jacobs all fucking day", "really lost her fuckin mind huh" i laugh under my breath "well she better get her ass outta here before mouse comes" he mutters tossing another bag into the pile. ".. you just needa sitcho manic ass down and be quiet for 5 fuckin minutes rue, im not fuckin play with you. sit down, and shut the fuck up" we hear fez demand to rue from his bedroom.

"Yo, I'm gonna need you to start moving some weight." Mouse says stacking some drugs. "Yo, I'm just trying to keep it low-key over here, man." Fez reply's, "And I'm trying to make fuckin' money." He snaps back.
"Even if i wanted all this shit, bruh, I don't got the money for all this, man." fez stresses.
"That's why you in luck. I'm gonna front it to you. Ten percent on the vig, and I'll collect in a month."
"Were not tryin' to do all that shit, man."
"I ain't asking, bruh. Step yo shit up." I roll my eyes at their conversation. as a dealer I admire mouses business style, but as fezcos friend I feel bad for him.

"Wanna get high?" Ash walks into the hallway looking down at me on the couch holding up a bag of weed. I groan with a small smirk on my face and walk over.
"I'm sorry about earlier" ash says under his breath. "Sorry what?" "IM SORRY ABOUT BEFORE" He shouts louder "did you hear that?" i rolls his eyes "Wow ashtray never thought I'd hear that from you?" He chuckles and looks away.

I pass the blunt and we keep talking. "Hey why didn't you let me go out with Jay?" "I ont know" "how ont you know" I say mocking him. "He's just an asshole, he took you upstairs knowing you was drunk and high" he shrugs "oh" i look down, "don't go all 'oh' on me and pass the fucking blunt" he says mocking my 'oh'. I smile a bit and wave it around. "Oi I'm not playing wich you key" He says Tryna grab it. I stretch my arm back over my head and he throws his body over me to reach it. "Would of been easier to just give it" he says rolling his eyes. "You know you love these games deep down in that small heart of yours" I tease reaching for the blunt. He starts teasing me and keeps the blunt out of reach. "Ashhhh give it" I say getting ontop of him to reach it. "You know, kiah" "what ash" I sit down on his lap, straddling him and waiting for an answer. "I think you have a lil crush on me" he says making eye contact with me. "What? No I don't!" i stammer "Yeah?" he asks with a smile, "Yeah" i assure. "I think you dooo" He says teasing me. At first he caught me off guard but now im gonna mess with him. "Maybe I do huh?" I say moving closer to him. Pissing him off is so much fun istg. His smile drops for a sec "What's wrong ashy?" I lean closer "bruh get out of my fucking face" "make me" "fine here's your fucking blunt" FINALLY "wasn't that fucking hard was it?" I say kissing his cheek. He death stares me and wipes his cheek. I take a Long Drag and pass it back to him, watching the smoke smoothly leave his nose and mouth.

He passes it back over to me and watches me take a strong drag, as I exhale I lean over to look back at him. "Hey buddy eyes up here" I snap him out of his stares towards my tits. He smirks "no shame in my game" he says, throwing his hands up in defense and looking back at the roof.

it was dark outside and fezco and i were sitting at the counter of their store whilst ashtray was in the back when we heard some distant music getting louder. "fuck my lifee" i groan quietly as i slide down from the counter. i saw a car drive towards the front of the shop and imidiantly knew who it was. nate. fez gives me a weird look before taking a hit of his blunt. "can you get me a mango la croix?" i hear a voice i recognised as maddy in the front seat of nates car. he mutters a yes and shuts his car door. "and those cherry rolling papers?" she adds. "mhm, anything else?" he asks, she shakes her head no and he walks in. i take another hit from fezcos blunt before passing it back and walking towards maddy, brushing past nates shoulder as we cross paths.

"hey madzzz!" i squeal as i walk through the shops exit. "hey baby!" she replys matching my energy and rolling down her window. "you look gorgeous" i say as i get a closer look of her purple eye shadow and bedazzled hair clips. "thanks key" she smiles. "are you going to the winter formal?" she questions. i think for a sec. "uhh i dont know, i mean, i have nothing to wear" i chuckle. Maddie gives me a a disappointed look, "bitch what do you mean you 'dont know', girl of course your coming. well go shopping together" she giggles. as we keep talking i hear a small cough coming from behind me, i turn around to see nate making his appearance known. "okay well ill see you tomorrow bitch" i say as i blow her a kiss and walk back into the store, she says bye and nate drives off. as i get back inside i notice something off about fez. "cmon les lock up" he says as he grabs his keys. i brush off my thoughts and turn the lights off so we can head home.

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