Chapter 41

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Thorin froze. "What?"

"The beads in your hair," Bilbo explained, gesturing to his braids. "You're missing one."

Thorin kept staring as his face went from shocked to dismay to something he couldn't identify. He sighed deeply and his wide shoulders dropped. "You're wearing one of them in your hair."

"I am?" he repeated, reaching up to touch his hair only to find the bead in question. "Oh. You're right. I... I forgot that too didn't I?"

"Yes," the king confirmed, his lips twisting down into a deep frown.

He groaned and rubbed his face harshly with both hands. "Oh, Thorin, I'm sorry. It seems like I'm forgetting everything important."

"Not everything. You remember us and you remember our journey. The little details we can work on," the Dwarf reassured gently.

He peeked out at the king between his fingers. "But I've forgotten something important, haven't I?"

Thorin shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We have more pressing issues to speak of. The letters you left for each of us... Is it all true?"

"I assume so. If I left you letters telling my story, then I wouldn't leave anything out," Bilbo confirmed, dropping his hands into his lap. "Why? What did yours say?"

"You wrote of the consequences to my madness," the king replied, his frown twisting into a scowl as his eyes turned frosty. "How it brought about not only my death, but the death of my precious nephews. You wrote of the years after where you returned to the Shire and wrote our story. You... You even wrote of your grief and regrets. Of the years you spent mourning for... for me."

He nodded and gave his companion a brittle smile. "I did spend a long time grieving for you and the boys. Eventually I moved on with my life but the anguish never really stopped. It was like an old wound that healed but never faded."

Thorin looked as if his words had physically stabbed him. "And you kept it to yourself all this time..."

"Well, I could hardly tell you when we first met," he pointed out, smirking. "You would have thought me crazy and refused to hire me."

"I would have still hired you," the Dwarf denied, shaking his head. "I would have just had you watched closely."

Bilbo wanted to feel surprised by that but he just wasn't. "We need to talk about your disturbingly low standards for recruits."

"Sure. We can do it when we speak of your lack of self-preservation," the king shot back.

He sniffed and raised his chin stubbornly. "I saw you and the boys die before me. I had no interest in reliving the experience."

Thorin clenched his jaw. "No, but you would have us experience the joy of watching you die. Why did you leave when you did? And do not say it was because you were trying to protect us, or so help me..."

"It wasn't for that reason," he reassured, nodding. "Before I left I had a dream of Sauron. It frightened me greatly so I decided it was time to destroy the ring as quickly as possible. It was simply at chance that I left while you were all still healing."

Thorin relaxed slightly. "Well that's comforting. Would you have told us the truth if we were not injured?"

"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "Probably not. Anything to protect you all, remember?"

"We are going to break you of that habit," the king promised, pointing at him.

Bilbo smirked. "Good luck with that. Now what else did my letter say?"

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