Enslaved || jeongchan

☾☾☾ chapter 20: cluster

"do you suggest that i have the capabilities to deceive someone like you?"

half the words that spilled off of jeongin's tongue weren't necessarily lies- because a part of him was convinced at how weak he had fallen in front of the blonde. he was just an innocent, traumatized delinquent who could only dare to stand against the menacing person to his front. his life was on the line- as in, the older could legitimately uphold the power to slice right through his neck, erasing away all the memories his 18 year old self built up. yet he dared to make a change in his pathway, by a pitiful emotion such as; love.

chan fell into a momentary bewilderment, his dull pupils scanning his gleaming gaze which also seemed to be dulled as each day transgressed.

growing up, he had blocked away decisions regarding opinions following his heart, sternly following the route which was more logical, using his brain. ever since then, his heart was replaced by a chained ice berg submerged at the center of his heart, cold and numbed to any contact whatsoever. however, ever since the brunette arrived, he could feel the frozen fragments melting away against his will.

"why are you always so cold to me?"

unable to respond by the sudden emotions swirling in his stomach, he watched as the younger began his interrogation.

"you either pull me closer, kiss me, and make me feel all weird and tingly.." he breathed out, his hands trembled as they hesitantly clasped at the cuff of his collar, "or push me away, isolate me, and make me feel worthless."

"what is it that you want from me?"

chan could not glaze over his questions anymore, too clogged by all sorts of emotions hurdling down like a landscape down a mountain, piling up into his compressed chest until he found it hard to breathe.

instead, he let his eyes travel back towards jeongin's moistened lips, briefly envisioning how beatific they felt the night before. he only now realized, he craved more of the feeling.

"i don't know.."

before jeongin could protest at his dry reply, a pair of lips already connected against his own desperately, in search of the phenomenal sensation they felt before.

the feeling being mutual, jeongin undoubted kissed back, melting away in bliss once their mouths pried open and their tongues tugged together.

his elbows comfortingly resting on his shoulders, while his fingers curled in his blonde locks, feverishly pulling his mouth closer, tilting his head in different angles to feel more of this temptation.

it felt so prohibited, so cruel. jeongin knew he shouldn't be growing used to how comforting he felt during the kiss. the way chan's tongue roamed around his mouth, coating in entirely with his saliva- as if marking his territory, made him squirm in excitement.

throughout his years of living, he'd never been treated the way he'd been right now. nobody ever kissed away his problems with such delicacy, treat him so rough, give him such mixed signals to where it drove him insane.

but jeongin didn't seem to mind the negative anymore.

to him, as long as chan's lips were pressed against his own; it was enough to forget reality, his gruesome life and declining mental health.

finally straying from his mouth, their foreheads rested against one another, soft exhales and inhales between the two as silence shadowed over them.

there wasn't anything particular haunting them, yet at the same time everything went numb for a split moment. none of his worries, masked deception, hatred for whom he saw in the mirror, nor the trauma he'd been put through were thought throughout their interaction.