Soulmarks

Chapter 15: The Hard Truth

When we got back with our parent's food, the atmosphere had changed. Something about the air was sullen and depressing, not light and playful like it had been earlier. But they took their food and began eating like nothing had changed.

"Hey, um, what's going on?" I ask, fidgeting.

"Nothing honey, we were just talking, and now we're going to eat," my mother says.

"No, something is different," I say. "The atmosphere is different."

"What are you, a clairvoyant?" my father jokes. No one laughs. The air is tense.

"Anne was just telling me about how you want to stay here and do school with Atticus instead of carrying out your senior year back in Idaho," my mother says, sighing.

"Yeah, I do. That's what I want. I have no friends there, mom. Why should I put myself through the hell and torment when I could be here with someone who truly cares about me, and learn from a top-notch professor? I could start doing focus classes in art and follow my dreams," I say.

"And that's great, honey, but we had a better plan for you," she says.

"Like what? Being alone and miserable?" I ask.

"We put you in an intensive physical therapy program, it's supposed to be one of the best for people with similar issues," she says.

"You put me into the program without even asking?" I yell, causing her to flinch.

"We expected that you'd come home eventually and we would be able to tell you then, but you kept extending your stay," she says.

"But you still didn't ask for my permission," I say.

"You aren't eighteen yet. I don't need your permission," my mother says sternly.

"But I'm the one having to do these sessions, so I need to be on board with it or it will be a waste of money," I say.

"That's the best part, the doctors have been studying your chart and want to do a case study on you, to see if this therapy could work for temporary paralyzations, so they'll pay for it in exchange for getting to use the data in studies," she says.

"Are you serious right now, mom? You want to make me a science experiment just for some fancy treatment? I told you I'd do it the traditional way!" I yell.

"The doctors don't think it's going to work the traditional way, honey. If you ever want to walk, this might be your only option," she says.

"And, again, we couldn't have had this conversation somewhere else, without an audience, before you agreed?" I say.

"I can back out before it starts, Noa. But I just know how much you want to walk again. If you recover fast enough, they might even let back on the volleyball team for at least one or two games before the end of the year," she says.

"I don't care about volleyball anymore. They all abandoned me, mom," I say.

"Then don't you at least care about walking?" she asks. I glare at her.

"Was this to help me, or you?" I ask.

"What do you mean? How would this be for me?" she asks.

"Because as soon as I can walk, you think you'll have the old me back. But let me explain this to you. The person I once was will never come back, mom. I will never be the same girl I was before the accident. The sooner you accept that, the better," I say.

"Noa, I really don't appreciate you talking to me this way," my mother snaps.

"No Ruth, she's right. You've tried to have Noa succumb to being disabled to where you needed to take care of her all the time, and since that didn't work, you're now trying to get her to be the same person she was," Anne says.