In Question

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Johnny's POV

Pregnancy test?

"What?" I felt myself ask.

I looked at Jen who looked pale. She looked terrified. Could it be? Was she really pregnant? I needed to know.

"Jen," I called out.

After a couple of seconds, she looked at me but said nothing. I felt my mind reeling. I needed her to say something. I stepped closer to her and was about to beg her to say something, when she turned around and quickly ran away.

"Jen! "I called out.

But she didn't stop.

I wasn't about to let her get away. If she was pregnant, then I needed to know. It was our baby. And I wasn't about to let her carry the burden all over again. I wanted and needed to be there for her.

I began to run after her.

"Sir, you can't go in," I heard the nurse call out. "Sir!"

But I didn't care. I never looked back. No one was going to stop me this time.

I caught up to Jen, just as she was about to close the door. I quickly stopped her and stood in front of the door. Gently pushing back.

"You can't be here," she said.

"I don't care," I frowned. "Move, I'm coming in."

"You have to go," Jen frowned, trying to close the door but failing.

"No," I shook my head. I gently shoved the door inwards, and walked in. Jen looked panicked and walked towards the small living room. I closed the door behind me and walked towards her.

"Jen," I called out, gently grabbing her arm and turning her around so she could face me.

"Are you pregnant?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she whispered.

I felt my heart was about to burst out of my chest. So, there was a possibility of us having another baby.

"You shouldn't be here," she sighed, pulling away from me. "It may be a false alarm."

"I don't care," I frowned. "I need to know."

"Why?" she asked.

"Why, what?" I frowned.

"Why do you need to know?" she asked.

"Because if you're pregnant," I began, "then it's my baby, too. And I have the right to know."

She looked at me and nodded. But didn't say anything.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?" I asked her.

"No," she shook her head. "You're right. You do have the right to know. So why don't you just go home and I'll let Christi know and that way—"

"No," I stopped her. "I will stay here as long as it takes. I'm not going anywhere until we both have an answer."

She looked at me. I could tell it was not the answer she wanted to hear. But I didn't care. I wasn't about to let her decide for me. She had hidden her pregnancy and the loss of our baby before. I wasn't about to go home with a promise that she may not keep.

I sat down in the sofa and gave her a look. She sighed and walked into the bedroom. I quickly got up and followed her.

"I'm just grabbing the test," she sighed, turning around to look at me. "I get it. You don't trust me."

I looked at her but said nothing. She was right. I didn't trust her. At least not when it came to this.

After a couple of seconds, she finally nodded her head and walked into the bathroom. Leaving me alone in that bedroom. I sighed and sat down in her bed.

I wanted that baby. I knew Jen was the woman of my dreams, the woman I had been waiting for all of my life, the minute I first kissed her. It was unlike any other relationship I've ever been in. The calmest, the purest. And damn it, the most painful one.

Minutes later, she walked out.

"It's gonna take a couple of minutes," she said, fidgeting with her hands. She was nervous. I got up and walked towards her and gently took her hand and walked her towards the bed. I sat next to her, caressing her hand.

"I love you," I whispered.

She looked at me with those big, beautiful hazel eyes that I adored so much.

"This relationship hasn't been the easiest for either one of us," I began. "But I love you. And I want you to know that my heart belongs to you. And it will always belong to you. Until my dying breath."

She looked down and nodded.

"I'm trying, Jen," I whispered. She looked up at me and gave me a confused look. "Just know that I am trying to prove myself to you. And I will. It's just gonna take some time."

She slowly nodded. I knew she didn't believe me. And truthfully, if I had seen a sex tape with someone that looked like her, I don't think I would have believed her either. I knew I had a lot of work to do.

We sat there in comfortable silence. I never let go of her hand. Both lost in our thoughts. But all I kept thinking about was starting a family with her. A baby....

"Let me go check," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "I think it's about time."

I nodded.

She walked into the bathroom, leaving me sitting there alone. I was nervous. I wasn't religious but, in that moment, I closed my eyes and said a little prayer.

Jen walked out of the bathroom with the pregnancy test in hand. I looked at her and waited for her to say anything. She looked at me and shook her head.

"I'm not pregnant," she whispered.

Whatever glimmer of hope I had, was now gone. I felt my heart bleed. Shattering into tiny little pieces. My eyes were now blurry with tears. The pain that I felt in that moment, I couldn't even begin to describe it.

I nodded and within seconds, I felt the tears begin to fall down my cheeks. And then I began to sob. Audibly. I could no longer control my emotions.

Within seconds, I felt Jen wrap her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it repeatedly. After a couple of minutes, I looked up at her. She had been crying, too.

"That's why I didn't say anything," she whispered, wiping her tears away. "Because I wasn't sure."

"Don't be sorry," I sniffed. "It's not your fault."

"It is," she nodded. "Maybe, I'm unable to have children. Maybe I'm defective."

"Stop," I frowned, grabbing her hand. "Don't say that. This shit happens to many women. This was a false alarm."

"And what about the miscarriage?" She asked. Her lip began to quiver.

"Women suffer miscarriages, baby," I sniffed. "You were under heavy stress. Stress can be dangerous during a pregnancy." I cupped her face and kissed her forehead. "You are not defective. You are perfect. In every single way."

She looked at me and gave me a sad smile.

"Want to test that theory?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"We are alone," I smiled. "We can practice making a baby right now." I said kissing her lips. "Let me show you how much I love you. I promise you that after tonight, we'll be one step closer to having a baby." 

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