Draco's Hufflepuff | Emerging

Thirty-Four: Courtyard Duel

**

Sunday, 15th December, 1996

I was sitting on one of the windowsills near the Courtyard watching as the large specks of snow hit the ground, waiting for Hannah. It was so beautiful, but perhaps that's because it reminded me of Draco.

When you first caught a glimpse of the snow, you are captivated by its beauty and something about it draws you in. The way it seemed to glitter on the surface, and how once it started to get thicker and more intense, you were even more entranced by it. Then you were hit with the harsh reality of it... snow took over once it settled, it was dangerous once it started to ice over, it hurt you, it even scared you, it knocked you down and kept you there.

I could barely feel my face, and I was certain my nose had a red glow to it. Hagrid was dragging in one of massive eight-foot balsam fir trees into the castle for Professor Flitwick to decorate in the Great Hall.

Like every mid-December, there was an exciting and cheerful buzz in the air, everywhere except the air around me, of course. I was still miserable, and my heart still hurt, yearning for the one person I knew it shouldn't. Surrounding me was the same black fog that hadn't left since that day in Professor Lupin's class.

Although, there was a tiny bit of sun trying to break through now and lift it a little. Being friends with Hannah and everyone else again definitely made the days easier, but it was still the evenings and nights were I felt most lonely. I would sometimes go to walk to the Astronomy Tower or one of our other meeting spots, out of habit more than anything.

I would lay in my bed in the darkness, and I missed the feeling of his arms being wrapped around me. My lips missed his being pressed against them. My stomach missed the warmth of his presence. My heart missed him the most, still aching at the loss of his constant existence in my life.

I hadn't said a word to him since that day we walked to Charms together, and every time we were near one another, a part of me still hoped, still longed for him to strike up a conversation with me again. I didn't care what it was about, I found anything he said fascinating.

But then I still had the argument surrounding Draco between my head and heart going on, and they were relentless at times.

My head would say we should stay away from him at all costs.

My heart would say no, we need him still.

My head would say you're so stupid, he destroyed everything you two had, and everything you were.

My heart would say but he's sorry.

My head would say you know he'd only go and break you again in a moment's notice.

My heart would say why are you being so stubborn? He's in love with us, for goodness sake.

Most of the time I listened to my head, remembering how distraught I was, and how much I lost because of him. There were still those times, however, where my heart would persuade me just slightly to go back to him.

I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt someone sitting down next to me suddenly. I glanced down, saw the black cotton tights, and heeled back boots, her leg crossed over the over, the hem of a black pleated skirt and a camel coat draped over the skirt. Her perfectly manicured, raspberry-painted fingernails rested on her knees. The bergamot and jasmine from her expensive smelling perfume hitting my nostrils pleasantly.

"You're so stupid, Parsons," Pansy Parkinson breathed out, her voice very indifferent,

"Um... hello to you too, Pansy," I let out a confused chuckle, "Why am I stupid?"