The Sea Siren

Chapter Forty-Four

Vivian

By the dawn, the heart the bastard prince had nurtured withered to smithereens.

The darkness that filled the room while the clouds overtook the sky, eventually pouring rain upon the kingdom in a downpour overwhelmed my mind and body with a severity that kept me in one place, lost in a sea of memories I had convinced myself were once real.

Only now do I realize how badly I wanted them to be real. To mean something.

I lied to myself, pretended I had any control in how quickly my feelings for Antony throve. I went against my preconceived judgements, believing him at his word as he swore I could.

The tears coursing down my cheeks do not feel of sadness, although I know they must be.

No... unrelenting anger has swallowed me whole.

My eyes watch the shadows move behind the door, the shuffling boots of the guards standing at their posts. No one has returned, leaving me to dwell in a place that is truly dangerous.

My own mind.

A deep, barren void of dark thoughts and deeds I had stored away long ago. When the Siren came to life, when Eldar gave me the helm of his ship and his crew, I became the persona. I became fearless... powerful. Frightening.

I needed to... because who I was before I was her was someone wounded.

I never thought I'd crack open again.

The miniscule part of me that craves life urges me to subdue the incessant demons and stand up. My fingers burrow into the flesh by my temples, wincing to fend the madness off.

It's not over.

"It might as well be," I whisper to myself, hearing only devastation.

Stand up.

I shake my head, eyes wilting, voice cracking. "I'm tired."

I've fought for so long and still, I don't understand why I struggle when it will be in vain.

I'm a pirate.

I'll always be destined to meet my fate at the edge of an executioner's blade.

Before the prince, I had no knowledge of love. Mutual love. The moment I swam onto the shore of that island, I instantly realized Michel had never loved me... and I had never loved him. Not truly.

I could live without it.

It wasn't easy but I could do it.

Weak sobs escape my lips, spurred on by my heart striking me over and over in my chest, stealing my breath away. It feels pathetic to reminisce but as if to cause me more pain, my body reminds me of his warmth, of his kiss... his laugh.

It was so convincing.

He preyed on the part of me I withheld from all men.

My dignity. My womanhood. My heart.

And I curse him for it. Any true siren would.

Grabbing ahold of the bedding, I hoist myself from the ground. The cannons burst outside the palace walls, a declaration that another day has dawn. The sun has just revealed itself upon the harbor, just along the line of the horizon.

I can't bring myself to look for long, aching for the sea.

Not on the morning of my demise.

I wipe my face, scoffing. I've truly been out beaten.