Stuck On Me- (loreen)

Sigh

May 8, UK

As it was a day before the first Semi-Final, I took the whole morning to rehearse my performance and make sure I was ready for it.
Any possible inconvenience would be so stressful for me and doing it over and over again was the best way I could prevent those situations.
I'm a very organized person when it comes to this, I like to have everything on my control and make sure it goes as planed so I don't have to worry about anything other than controlling my own nervousness while I'm on stage.

The long hours of the morning passed, the evening fell and it was time to get ready to meet Loreen.
I decided to look for her after her rehearsal, since she was the next one performing after me.
As I saw her coming out of the stage and walking through the corridors, I couldn't stop thinking how beautiful she was.

"You're here already?!"- she ran to me, panicking.

"Yea, I decided to wait for you here."

"But I'm not ready at all, look at me."

"Don't worry about it, you have time for it all. I can wait."- I smiled, making sure I wasn't pressuring her.

"I'll be as quick as I can!"- she ran inside her dressing room to get ready.

While waiting, I was on my phone looking at some TikTok's, edits people made, ratings, odds, etc.
I usually hate to look at those, but they just show up randomly and I really can't do anything about it.
My rating wasn't bad though, neither I was bad placed in the odds but it's always something I like to keep away from me, some people always have to spread negativity.
It kept me so distracted for so many minutes in a row that I didn't even notice Loreen standing in front of me.

"I'm ready!"- she said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You look so stunning!"- I complimented.

"Thank you! You also look gorgeous."- she held my arm.

"Shall we go?"- I said. "I hope you like where I'm taking you, it took me a while to find a nice place."

"I'm pretty sure I'll like it, don't worry."- she put her arm around my shoulder.

As I mentioned before, I knew she liked nature so I looked for places like that around Liverpool.
I ended up finding some beautiful nature preserves and parks, exactly what I needed but still wasn't sure. And after that, I thought about taking her for dinner.

"Here we are, I found this place and it looked calm, I think it's quite what we need to speak properly."

"And you chose it well. I love nature so much."- she said happily, looking around the trees and the small lakes, where the birds landed.

"I've been wondering, do you ever feel nervous about the competition? You seem so calm all the time."- I looked at her slowly.

"I really have a big control over myself so no, I don't really feel nervous. I just wanna enjoy the competition, if I can even call it that, you know?"

She was so different from me when it comes to this.
I feel stressed all the time, can't stop thinking about possible results, can't get out of my own ambition.
Also, Loreen doesn't even want to call it a competition, which is even more amazing.
Sometimes I wish I had this connection with things, just living in the moment, enjoying the ride.

"I wish I was like that."- I smiled, looking up at her.

"There're always ways to calm down, maybe I'll be able to teach you sometime. Come here, let's sit down for a while now."- she said, sitting in front of the lake, as I sat by her side.

"I really love the vibes you give me. I can understand you're someone who looks calm but inside there's an euphoric mix of feelings and thoughts."- she showed her perspective about me and I was surprised about how accurate it was.

"You couldn't have said it better."- I laughed and looked at her once again. Her eyes were honest, she got closer and hugged me tightly.

That woman is a gem, an absolute angel. She understands people's feelings, she knows how to comfort them, the way she listens is also something to point out.
I have to thank Alessandra for forcing me to ask her out.
I know this wasn't supposed to turn out this way, I wasn't supposed to connect with the ones competing with me, but somehow I couldn't control it anymore.
I just wanted to have my mindset back and the control I made up in my mind before getting there.

"I was right about you."- she began, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I felt like you were someone I could feel some connection with. I should've asked you out earlier."- she winked at me.
And there she was also talking about connection, glad I wasn't the only one feeling something there. However, that was not helping my competitor mindset.

"Well. I felt the same so I asked you out myself first."- I answered, winking back.

Passing my evening with Loreen was the best decision I've made and the dinner was even better.
We really had something to share and whatever that was, it was deep and meaningful.

__
May 9, UK

I walked around the backstage, thinking about positive things, trying to distract myself.
People always tell me to focus on my breath but I couldn't even feel my lungs anymore. So I kept walking and walking until it was my time to perform.
The best I could do was to let it happen naturally and in the end it turned out amazing.

It made me nervous to compete against the best artist of this edition in this Semi-Final but I knew I'd pass to the final as I was one of the most loved ones.
The environment of that place wasn't that tense as I thought it would be.
Everyone deserved to pass but as we all know that's not possible.
I was sad for the ones who didn't qualify, but I couldn't be happier for myself and my favourite ones who also did.

We all celebrated backstage, lots of champagne, lots alcohol and when the party was over we all leaded to our hotel rooms.
I heard someone knocking, I opened to meet Alessandra with a big smile on her face.

"Hello!! How did it go?"- she grinned.

"What? Going out with Loreen?"

"Of course, what else could it be? Tell me everything!"

"It went really well actually, I was expecting it to be awkward but it wasn't. I'm glad she said yes, and you should be too or otherwise you'd be dead by now if she refused."

"I knew she wouldn't refuse. I know things you don't."- she winked.

"What do you mean?"- I raised my eyebrow.

"In the beginning, when I met Loreen, she told me she'd like to know you more. But I told you it was Bojan who said it, to see if you reacted differently when I talked about Loreen. And you absolutely did."- she looked at me with a winning smile.

"Were you seriously testing me?! Alessandra!"- I started hitting her with a pillow.

"Are you gonna complain? I literally got you a date."

"Not complaining at all but I don't think it was a date, girl."

"We'll see. Tomorrow night, me and the boys will watch the second Semi-final together here at the hotel, they told me to invite you as well. If you want you can tell Loreen to show up too."

I thought she was just pricking me but it wasn't a bad idea at all though.
When Alessandra got out of my room, I grabbed my phone and sent her a message without thinking twice.
She'd be here tomorrow.