Stuck On Me- (loreen)

Hate The Way I Love You

The bright light of the sun hit my face, making me rub my eyes as I woke up.
I turned around to see her beautiful face right in front of me, like I wished for all night.
After all, the stars really aligned for us.

I heard a small groan coming out of her mouth as she moved slowly before opening her eyes.
"Hi."- Loreen simply said with her raspy morning voice.- "thank you for caring about me last night."- she added.

"You don't have to thank me. You weren't even that bad too."- I held her arm.

"You're too sweet. I wish I could stay more time with you but I'm afraid my rehearsal will start soon."

Unfortunately, she had to go, I wished we could stay just like that forever.
The emptiness and the silence were loud after she left, she really became a part of me.
I stayed in bed, looking at the ceiling and thinking about how I wish she felt the same for me.

___

May 13, UK
Lights were on, which meant it was time for what we've been waiting for as long as I can remember.
The final was starting and I couldn't even manage to get nervous, I was a already a winner for what I've learnt with that journey and the people I met along with it. I didn't need any trophy.

"The Netherlands."- they called, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stepped on stage with my flag.
Meanwhile, the arena applauded. I could see people smiling and jumping, I just took the time to appreciate that moment.
I realized I had every reason to be proud of where I got and everything I achieved in my life.

When we were all silent and sat in the green room, the performances started until it was my time.
I was called backstage a couple of minutes before, so I could warm up and get ready.
I tried to stay confident, since it was the last time I'd be doing this performance. I had to give everything.

My heart was all I could give to my performance and in that moment, it all began to make sense to me.
In fact, I wrote my song about hypothetical feelings linked to a certain situation that I never experienced before.
I imagined how it would feel and wrote about it.
However, during this journey I learnt, I grew up and with that, I finally understood what my own song meant.

Whatever I felt when I got out of the stage was heartbreaking as I walked through the corridors of the backstage while my team cheered me up. But I couldn't handle the realizations I had.
I was still happy it went well though.

Time passed and the votes were suspended.
I knew I would stay well classified but I wouldn't win, that was for sure.
The jury vote made me stay in 5th and with more votes from the public I went up to 3rd, which made me absolutely proud.
Therefore, the final stayed between Käärijä and Loreen as expected, I loved them both so much, he was the sweetest but my heart stayed with her all the time.

The moment they announced her a winner I celebrated her victory as if it was my own. My team kept laughing at me, knowing how genuine my happiness was, they were aware of the special place she had in my heart.
Adding to it, her winner's performance made me cry a river.
Never in my life I would imagine myself rooting for the person who could most easily steal my victory, but if you think well, she gave me much more than what she took away from me.

__

Meanwhile, in the backstage everyone was cheering Käärijä up due to his loss.
I told him there's no win such as winning people's hearts just like he did. This was the best way I could explain that this wasn't the end, but the beginning.
Not just for Loreen, not just for Käärijä, but to all of us.

All could think about was to congratulate Loreen.
I waited for her interviews to end so I could meet her in the dressing room.
The smile on my face and my open arms for her were  the most apparent proof of my happiness when she showed up.

"Congratulations, I'm so proud."- I gave her the biggest hug.

"I'm still shaking, this is too much information."- she hugged me back.

"You gotta celebrate today, girl!"- I tapped her shoulder.

"And would you maybe accept to celebrate it with me?"- she invited me along with her team.

"Of course I do."- I smiled widely and she took my hand, grabbing her stuff and we both took a cab to her hotel.

__

Her team was with us in the beginning of the night but they eventually left to rest, letting us alone.

As a result, we were both drinking and laughing nonstop and when silence was stablished, our eyes met again.
But this time there was something new in her look, something I've never seen previously.
And before I could figure it out, she was getting closer.
I just couldn't stop looking at her lips, I tried to hold my breath, leaning back as my feasts closed behind my back.
She just kept getting closer and closer until her lips met mine, her hand holding my waist as we drove into a deep kiss.
I slowly straddled her lap and she held me, the feeling of her cold hands on my warm face, brought me to heaven.

I started asking myself what I've been losing all this time because of my ambition. That moment worth a hundred times more than the success I had been chasing.
Although, maybe it was too late to realize that just in the end.

Her hands then ran down my body, squeezing my hips.
"Are you okay, honey?"- that was then I realized I've been silent for too long. I was completely focused on my thoughts.

"Yes, yes I'm sorry."- I shook my head.

"Are you sure? You seem a bit off, honey."- she looked worried.

"Everything's okay. Totally. I was lost on my thoughts."

"Important ones?"

"No, it's just that it will be so difficult for me to say goodbye when I have to."- I could've stopped it but I was afraid of running from my feelings once again and ending up losing.

"That's why we could make tonight special. Remember, we will meet again if we were meant to be together."

Maybe she was right, we could make this night into a good memory.
I didn't like one night stands or whatever this would turn out to be, but the difference was that this had a meaning for me. It wasn't just a punctual situation I would forget about the next day, I was sure it would be special. She was special to me.

"I think we could create a good memory tonight, yeah."- I agreed, nodding.

"Is it okay if I kiss you again then?"- she looked down at my lips and up again to my eyes.

"Please do."- how could I say no?

So our lips met once again the moment she pushed me against the lavatory.- "I thought I'd never get to do this."- she spoke up between the kiss.

"I think I've been wanting to do this since I first saw you but I couldn't admit it."

"There's no need to fake it anymore, it's just us here."

I just hugged her tight, she did the same, holding me so hard that the future couldn't get near us.
Even so, it would always find us in the moment we were less expecting. Always.

____

Heyy guys!

I just wanna thank everyone so much for the nice feedback, it means a lot.
(Get ready for the next chapter, though)

~M <3