Nova

And we love you

A/N: Not a big fan of this chapter, it needs a bit more editing, but you guys have been waiting for waaaayyyy too long. Hope you enjoy!

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'Read' Was the only word that swirled in her head. She had to be honest with herself. She knew the chances of getting an answer was low. She was aiming in the dark.

The clammy air in her two-room apartment was getting harder and harder to breathe in. It had been several years since she felt this helpless feeling of guilt. Her life had moved on, even if not a single day had gone by without the thought of her daughter passing her mind.

It wasn't abnormal for Carina to sit awake way in to the early morning hours. Whenever she was awake this late it was always just one thing on her mind. Her daughter.

She would make up scenarios of how their life would've been like if she never chose to leave her. If she never chose the selfish way out of a horrible situation.

Whatever happened in between, the scenarios always ended with the two of them living together in Italy.

She imagined her daughter at a young age, her hair wild in the wind with seawater curling her already curly tresses. She was showing her how a mermaid swims at the bottom of the sea. Carina stood in lake Garda with the water up to her thighs, while the water reached to her daughter's upper chest. They were at her favorite beach, it was one of the small beaches that hadn't been infested with too many tourists yet.

Carina was punched out of her fantasy world, a reminder that this was never going to happen hit her stomach hard. A wave of nausea went through her body. She had to swallow to keep everything down.

A knew image took over. This time she was walking through her favorite park. A few meters away she saw a beautiful young woman sitting elegantly on a white painted bench. Shadows from the trees around shield her from the heating sun.

The girl seemed to carry herself with so much confident. The girl's head looked up from a book she seemed pretty invested in. But the book could wait as soon as she saw Carina walking her way.

The girl leaned towards the edge of the bench. A big smile forming on her lips as she started waving at Carina who walked towards her with fast pace. "Mama!" The girl eagerly yelled out, not caring if everybody knew who her mom was.

A blaring of an alarm clock gave signals that it was morning and time for Carina to once again escape her fantasy world. Without a wink of sleep she knew this was going to be a long and tiring day just like so many before.

With a deep sigh she sat up in the bed before turning the alarm on her phone of. The message she sent to Nova was still left on read.

Carina was comforted by her own excuses. She told herself that it was night back in Seattle. She was probably just sleeping. After a day with too much things happening she didn't have the energy to answer her messages. Lies? She hoped not.

On the other side of the world in her boyfriend's bed, she laid awake. A comforting arm belonging to her also awake boyfriend was placed comfortably around her body. Nova felt safe in the embrace of her boyfriend.

After reading the messages from her... Sister? Mother? Carina. After reading the messages from Carina her brain hadn't rested. Thoughts it's and feelings were all over the place.

Nova started to cry. Everything was a little too hard for her to handle alone. The messages that were sent to her made the tower of emotion fall over. When that happened she was happy that her better half was just around the corner.

Sheepishly Nova  walked down the hallway and into her boyfriends bedroom where she tried not to wake up the sleeping form of Alex.

But she didn't succeed. Alex had woken up just as Nova lifted up the duvet. At the sight of her tears Alex asked what had happened and the dam broke loose. She told him about the massages she had received and her feelings towards them.