Part 13 - Lost

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Pedro just told almost all of the staff and students that he loves me. Our secret. It's out in the open now. My heart is happy that he loves me. I'm happy - but I don't think other people will think the same way

I see from the corner of my eye, the head master walking our way. He's not the principle, he's worse. The headmaster is the boss off of the principle, if the whole school. Turning my head up to look at Pedro, as he looks down at me. I feel him grab my hand, squeezing it lightly to let me know that everything will be okay, giving me a soft comforting smile.

As the man approaches, he gives a stern angry look at the both of us.

"What is all of this nonsense! Are you really having relations with your student Mr. Pascal?" The boss asks angrily.

Pedro stands up straight.
"Yes sir, I am. So, feel free to do whatever you think is necessary. - but we are adults, and if we choose to love each other, we will." He said all high and proud which made me feel really good inside, knowing that he loves me so much, he's willing to lose his job - but I can't let that happen. Not to him. This is how he makes his living. I am just a 25 year old girl about to ruin his career.

I step up next to Pedro, getting ready to do the most noble thing I've ever done.

"No sir, don't fire Mr. Pascal. It's not his fault, I-I came onto him first but we both just fell for each other unexpectedly. If anything.... I'll leave the school." I say trying not to tear up. I definitely do not want to drop out, but if I have to do it, I'll do it for Pedro.

Pedro grabs my wrists, and pulls me to the side.
"What are you doing? You're going to ruin your life doing this?" He says slightly shouting. I've never seen him upset at me before. I shake my head in a 'no' motion.

"I don't care about a college future, I can get a job elsewhere. All I care about is you. You need your job, you have an actual career right now." I say trying to persuade him into listening to me but he doesn't budge.

"No. You're not doing this, I care too much about you to ruin your life for me. I-" he said before cutting himself off. He looks as if he's about to break down in tears.

"I- don't this we should do this any longer."

"Wha-what?" Tears starting rolling down my face, hearing those words he said.

Pedro wipes the tears off of my cheek but I pull away.

"Are you breaking up with me? Please don't." I say crying.

"Oh, baby girl." Pedro grabs me and hugs me tight.
"I don't want to. I love you with every ounce of my soul.... but I have to protect you."

"I don't need protecting. I don't need anything!" I yell and everyone turns their head towards me.

"I want you! All of you, forever!" I say crying, not caring who hears me.

Pedro's eyes start watering. Tears rolling down like a river about to explode.
"We have too. We don't make sense anyways. I'm 48, you're 25. What happens when you grow older and want children? I can't give that to you. I'll ruin your whole life. You need to be with someone closer to your age. Someone who can give you more than I can." Pedro says crying, trying to stay strong but is slowly breaking down.

I grab his hand.
"I don't care about our age gap. It means nothing. We mean something. Children, no children, grey hair, or 25 year difference. I just want you, forever."

Pedro slowly removes my hand from his. Putting it to my side. He grabs my face in his hands and kisses my lips softly and slowly. Like he's trying to savor this moment forever. Backing away, he says one more thing to me.

"I love you forever - until the end of time and I will forever be lost without you." And he turns around heading to the man who fucked all of this up.

"Sir. I will no longer be in any relationship with Ms. Amelia. She will keep her place here, and I will keep my place as well. I will be a professional, and continue my job the way I always should have." Pedro looks at the boss and the man just shakes his head.

"Okay Mr. Pascal - but is she in your lecture?" He asks.

Pedro looks at me, and back at the boss.
"Yes. She's going to be transferred out of my class, into another. I cannot bare to see her in my lecture, my heart will just shatter every time I see her."
Crying, he takes a step back from his boss and walks out of the room. Everyone's eyes following him out of the door. I stand there in silence, as the boss walks over to me. Lifting my head up to him, I look him in the eyes.

"Fuck you." Is all I say, walking back to my dorm room.

.............

I cannot believe that happened. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out as I hear a knock on the door. My heart fluttered thinking it was Pedro, about to change his mind and come back to me.

Opening the door with a smile, it slowly disappears as I see who it actually is. It's James and Josie.

"I'm not in the mood right now. Sorry." I say walking back to my bed. Both of them just follow me, sitting on the edge of the mattress where I'm laying.

"I'm so sorry Em. If I would've known you and Mr. Pascal were a thing, I would've been there for you." Josie says rubbing my leg.

Giving her a soft smile, I nod.
"I know. It's not your fault. You were on a trip. Even if I could talk to you about it, I couldn't say anything to anyone."

At this point, it doesn't matter anymore. Pedro and I aren't together any way. Should I even call him Pedro or just Mr. Pascal again? Calling him that makes me feel uncomfortable. He's not my teacher, he was my forever.

But just like he said, he will be lost with out me, and I sure as hell will be lost without him.

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