Jungkook staggers up the stairs to the attic after he ditches the empty bottle on the kitchen island. He tears the tape off of one of the boxes in one corner and pulls it open. A bunch of papers lie within it and his hands reach for them. His years of work lie in that box right there, some lay unfinished.
He knows why too.
Because satisfaction became his primary priority and alcohol was his stress buster that replaced his writing. He feels a familiar sting in his heart when he finds his eyes staring at a reflection of himself in a cracked mirror in the attic. Because he knows Jimin is right, he himself doesn't recognise the man he's become.
But the battle is fruitless. He can't let go even if he wants to. Yet he denies that he's addicted. Yet he denies he needs help from a professional. He denies that it's the addiction that led to the downfall of his work and social life.
Jimin gave up on them, he tells himself and feels tears burn his eyes. But the truth is far from it. Jimin finally decided to put his sanity first, because Jungkook's addiction hadn't only affected his mental state but Jimin's as well.
He flips through the pages of the work he's left incomplete till date and stacks them over one another. He counts nine of them.
There's a tiny part of him that wants to complete what he left incomplete. All the books he started and left them halfway through. He lacks interest and motivation though, so the papers stay untouched. Like all of a sudden, nothing in his life gives him that little tug he desires. Like all of a sudden, there's nothing to look forward to. Just a blank space he seems to stare into.
He craves euphoria and the drinks, they always seem to take him there. He drinks till he reaches the high point, till he feels like he can soar through the air. His eyelids droop and he rests his head on the stack of papers, slowly descending into the arms of sleep.
--
I know this is a pretty short chapter compared to the previous one but I wanted to highlight the effects that addiction has on one's life, something that Jungkook clearly shows too.
• Sudden mood swings
• Irritability
• Feeling of euphoria
• Trouble in interpersonal relationships (be it in work, social, romantic life)
• Decreased motivation
• Neglecting responsibilities at home, at work.
• Withdrawing from previously-pleasurable activities.
• Change in sleep patterns and appetite
• Changes in personality or attitude
• Violent, angry outbursts
• Aggressiveness
Addiction can strip a person clean of everything they once held near and dear to them.
The question is, what next?
Two options, you can choose to deteriorate further or you can choose to fix what you seemingly destroyed.
You can choose to live with regrets or you can choose to do something about it.
But for that, you need to realise you are addicted. Am I right?
With acceptance comes healing.
Will Jungkook accept that he is an addict or will he continue to deny it?
Hold my hand, darling. This is going to be a terrible ride, but there'll be smoother roads ahead. I promise. Just be patient and we'll get there eventually, alright?
29 May, 2023
DU LIEST GERADE
𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 • ᴊɪᴋᴏᴏᴋ
Fanfiction"Addiction is a family disease." Jungkook's life is taken over by his addiction to substances and Jimin tries to fix the cracks on their ship single-handedly; tries to keep them afloat. Bound by the chains of addiction, Jungkook is blind to the havo...
