Arcadian

Eat

My heart monitor beats frantically as the panic starts setting in. Not being able to move my limbs makes me feel caged.

The persistent beeping causes Lucian to stir. He opens his eyes and looks up at me, doing a double take when he sees that my eyes are also open.

"Harper!" He jumps up, almost falling out of the chair as he rushes over to me. "Hey it's okay," He soothes, stroking my hair as he eyes my accelerated heart rate on the monitor.

My head is foggy, almost as if I'm still trapped in a dream like state. I try to reach out to him, wanting to be sure that he's real and actually here. 

My frustration grows as I realise that I'm still too weak to lift up my arm. I can only manage to lift my hand at the wrist and stretch out my fingers in his direction.

"Yes yes I'm right here," He rushes out, taking my hand in his while using his other to reach over and press a red button next to my bed.

"Harper I'm so sorry," He says, his voice cracking. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it," He repeats over and over again, placing multiple frenzied kisses on my forehead.

I just stare at him, the whole situation completely confusing me. I have so many questions.

He didn't mean what? Why am I here? Why can't I remember anything?

"Hey Harper, how are we?" A lady I've never seen before enters the room. "I bet you're feeling really yucky and sore," She says in an exaggerated calm voice, speaking to me like a child.

"You've been sleeping for quite some time," She reveals. "The aching in your joints will soon fade away," She reassures.

"W-what happened," I whisper, my voice coming out croaky.

The nurse and Lucian share a little glance at each other, "Do you remember the camping trip and how you went wondering off into the woods?" Lucian sighs.

I rack my brain trying to remember, I vaguely recall the camping trip but I can't seem to picture myself wondering alone into the woods.

"We believe you collapsed due to malnutrition," The nurse interjects. "You were out in the snow for quite awhile and suffered from frostbite, we almost had to amputate three of your fingers but thankfully we were able to save them," She explains.

I just stare at her, unable to comprehend the severity of what she's telling me. "We've put in an IV to give you nutrients," She says softly, motioning to the tube in my arm.

The familiar sense of dread courses through my body as I stare at the cloudy liquid running through the tube, knowing it's transporting thousands of calories into my body. It's almost as if I can feel the fat growing under my skin.

"I think we should give you time to rest," The nurse suggests, motioning for Lucian to follow her out. 

"No stay," I mumble, weakly reaching out for him. He immediately obliges, sitting back down on the edge of my bed.

We stare into each other's eyes as the nurse closes the door, leaving us in utter silence.

"I'm so sorry Harper," He says guiltily for the second time. "Why?" I ask, not knowing why he thinks me fainting is his fault.

"You don't remember?" He asks, slightly tilting his head. "I'm the reason you were out in those woods, I upset you," He says, his voice cracking.

"It's just-" He sighs, running his hand through his hair. "It's just I've never felt this way about a girl before and I wanted to pretend that you meant nothing to me but it's not true Harper." He says definitively, gently grasping my face in his hands.

"I want this," He says, motioning between the two of us, "I want you."

He wants me?

My entire life I've felt unwanted and like a burden to everyone but now that there's finally someone sitting in front of me and telling me they want me I don't know how to react.

I thought I would feel overjoyed but I just feel skeptical, as if the idea of anyone wanting to be around me must be some sort of elaborate joke.

"I know this isn't the right time with the state you're in but I couldn't hold it in any longer," He sighs, almost looking relieved that he finally got that off his chest.

"It's okay," I whisper. "I want you too," I say, deciding to listen to my heart instead of my brain for once.

"You do?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in surprise. 

I nod at him, a smile creeping onto my face. He gives me the most elated smile I've ever seen on his face before leaning in and taking my lips in his.

He kisses me so gently, his hands cupping the back of my head as he pulls me closer into him. 

"Uh hum," Someone fake clears their throat. 

Lucian quickly pulls away from me, giving me a clear view of the door where Emilio and his mum stand awkwardly.

"Ah Harper! It's nice to see you awake," His mum smiles cheerfully, completely ignoring the fact that me and her son were just making out.

"Hey Mrs Cruz," I smile back at her, trying my best to suppress a yawn. "Call me Darcy love, Mrs Cruz makes me feel old," She chuckles, placing a cup of soup on the bedside table.

We all sit around my bed as the three of them catch me up on everything that's happened over the past six days, apparently Lucian has rarely let me out of his sight.

Although I feel comforted having them here one question weighs on my mind.

"Where's my mum?" I ask.

They all exchange a glance, "She really wanted to be here Harps but she couldn't get a flight back from Paris so soon," Lucian explains but by the guilty look on his face I can tell he's lying.

I frown but I'm not that torn up about it, I already knew she didn't care about me. Before I have time to respond to Lucian the same nurse as before enters the room, clipboard in hand.

"Could you guys wait in the hall for a minute, I need to speak with Harper alone," She asks politely. Everyone makes a move to stand up but I tug at Lucian's sleeve before he can walk away.

"Can he stay?" I ask, desperate for him to remain near. The nurse nods, waiting for Emilio and his mum to leave the room before shutting the door behind them.

She sighs, flipping through pages in her clipboard. "Well Harper first things first,"

"We need to talk about your eating habits."