Author's Note: I feel there isn't enough about the Yugi just simply....being. I can't really explain it very shortly. From the way I understand their sibling bond, Hanako loves Tsukasa and I just wanted to write something that displays that in all of its unfortunate glory.
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The plush bear was a simple gift. It wasn't anything special with its button eyes, nose, and mismatched purple-pink fur. Yet, Hanako held the toy as though it was made of fragile glass.
He had chuckled when he first received the present. All to mask over the sudden jab he felt in his core. Undoubtedly, it was a very kind gesture from Yashiro, something he both adores and despises.
Alone in his stall, Hanako was free to nuzzle into the bear's neck, mind elsewhere to a nearly forgotten time. A time more painful to think of than any knife to the stomach.
He pressed the bear closer to himself, its faux pelt soft under his grip, then tentatively pressing a paw to his cheek. It's too easy to imagine a delicate and calloused hand brushing against his seal, and if he tried, Hanako could smell the familiar scent of sweet citrus and cheap cherry soap.
Closing his eyes, for just a moment, Hanako could see himself under a tent made of pillows and blankets, a flashlight in his hand and the other mapping out the various stars and constellations on a page. A faint memory of amusement echoes in his head. One where he couldn't hold back his laugh when asked such a simple question of "How far is the moon?" that ended with a drawn-out coo.
"384,400 kilometers." An answer Hanako knows well and lets it slip out in a heartbeat. It's second nature to him, and yet, in the depths of himself, another answer hangs on the tip of his tongue. It's irrational. Illogical, but it felt just as right to say the moon was right here. In arm's reach and at his fingertips.
Though beautiful and short-lived like sakura blossoms, the moon was always by his side. Whether sleeping curled up in warm pajamas, clinging onto the shoulder of his uniform, running in tall grass with the starry sky making for the perfect backdrop, or laying undisturbed in a coffin of petals and adorned in elegant fabrics, the moon was always here with him.
If he dared to, Hanako could hold his moon and its entirety to himself. He could reach out, have it persevered, frozen in time, not let it worry about a thing, and have it be just for him. Enshrined and motionless for Hanako to watch over and gaze at forever. It's hopeless to think and dwell on such thoughts, but he had always thought himself a fool.
He's a fool for wanting those moments of dazzlement to last forever. Where he could hold onto that soft palm as they ran and romp around in their overgrown garden, catching bugs or playing pretend and chasing each other in the fields of sunflowers. Only to stop when Hanako's breath is swept away by an innocent smile lit up by buzzing fireflies in a wicker cage.
A pathetic thing for believing in rocks found in a golden meadow, yet somehow treasuring the smiles he managed to bring upon a precious face more. That despite himself, he chose to put faith in such a small thing because that shrill, yet delightfully innocent voice would pierce through the internal noises in his head.
A hapless sap who longs for evenings meant for the two of them. On those nights, the soft sounds of saxophones and pianos that originated from a record player paired sweetly with their laughs and giggles. Then with one foot after another, a breath in exchange for the other, and together, they would be in perfect sync as they danced to their hearts' content.
Hanako yearned for the days when his moon was there with a life still beating and flesh so warm that it burned. He wants that naïve sense of fuzzy warmth back in his grasp when seeing such beauty in glistening starlight. He chases for that rush of euphoria he felt when long strands of hair fell; a beaming face, now adored with a choppy cut, looked back at him with pride. He desires to feel the dizzy and suffocating sensation that surrounds his heart from each sincere gesture and toothy grin he receives.
To which he wonders, why can't he have that? Why can't the world just freeze and have time just stop and he can just take what he wanted and-
A tear snapped Hanako out from his daze, looking down at his hands. He hadn't realized how tight his grip around the teddy bear was until he saw the split seams and spewing cotton. Unsightly as it was, Hanako supposes this is how it always ends.
Ruined and tore apart, yet, he will never dare let it go.
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Additional Notes:
Sunflowers symbolize loyalty and devotion
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JSHK Headcanons, Oneshots, & Musings
General FictionA series of TBHK related writings that conjured in the mind of a rabid animal. It's mostly just rambles and musings, but I can do oneshots on occasion. Important!: I will be spoiling a lot of the manga
